Did I blow it? Advice appreciated?

I had a pretty good time hanging out with this guy yesterday. We went to his house, talked, listened to music. I think he was cool. He was funny and cute and eventually he finally kissed me and it felt great! We made out and things got pretty hot and heavy but I really do like this guy so I tried to pace myself. I let him touch me but I didn't really touch him and he didn't seem to mind all that much (he said he really enjoys to give more than receive anyway and it seemed like he really felt that way) . I mean I could tell he absolutely wanted to (he kept telling me how turned on he was) but he was really respectful about it. After he dropped me back off at my place I texted him and asked what one of his playlists was titled on Spotify because I was really into it and he said he had a good time and that It was nice to meet me. I texted him again today because he had a big work thing and I told him I hoped it went well but no reply. as long as we've been talking we've never been the type of people to text eachother every day or all day every day but I'm super bummed that I blew it by not sleeping with him. I don't see how he could possibly question if I was into him though I was definitely fighting to not give in. I haven't dated in so long and I'm just barely getting back into it and I just wanted to respect myself and try to do this the right way so that he will respect me too. Does it seem like he's completely uninterested?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think you blew it by not sleeping with him. I think if you did sleep with him it might have blown it, but I'm pretty sure you didn't blow it by not sleeping with him.

    I'm a little confused here. You said when you texted him about his Spotify play list that he told you he had a good time and it was nice to meet you. Later you said you guys haven't been texting all day since you've been talking. How long have you been talking for? It seems like you've already met. Was this a first date? How much touching went on, can you be more specific?

    Give him a day or 2 to respond. I think he's blowing you off, but it's possible he's just playing it cool, or is busy though doubtful.

    I think if he's blowing you off it might be for one of 2 reasons. 1. You guys just saw each other yesterday. The same day you texted him, and then again today. He might feel smothered or that you're desperate or clingy. Hard to say. Not sure how long you guys have been talking or dating and how things have progressed to this point. If it's blown the 2nd reason might be he thinks you're a little slutty. If this was a first date you guys have already made out and there was touching going on. That's pretty hot and heavy for just having met I think, as far as a lot guys are concerned. Depending on what kind of touching is what's key here. Some heavy petting? Did you let him play with your breasts (under the shirt or let him take your top off)? Did you let him touch down below? A lot of guys think if a girl lets them go to far too fast that she's a slut basically. I don't necessarily agree with that theory. Yeah, it sounds like this was your first date, but also that you've been talking a lot prior. You may think things are at a different point than he does.

    I think if it's blown it's for those reasons, possibly others, but most likely it's those.

    I think if you don't hear from in a few days it's blown for sure, but he could just be playing it cool.

    • We've been texting a couple weeks. We met for the first time yesterday. I don't know it seemed like it went well. I let him touch me "down there" but that's as far as it went. I didn't touch him. I mean it was obviously far from innocent but it felt nice I don't know. I like him and I didn't really want to stop him but I also was trying to respect myself and the situation. He really didn't seem to have all that much of a problem with it to be honest. He was very respectful about it. I think we had fun. I thought he was super funny and we were able to kind of tease eachother and give eachother a hard time in a funny way. I don't know. I'll be suprised if I don't hear from him tomorrow. I'm trying not to be all over him or too clingy but I also realized I did sort of leave him high and dry and I didn't want him to think it was because I wasn't into him because I was.

    • I doubt he thinks you're not into him. It's pretty obvious you are. You guys made out and you even texted him yesterday and today, so obvious you're interested. I don't think your making out and all that is a big issue either, not sure how he's taking that one. Some guys are kinda stupid about that whole thing. I think he must be physically attracted to you because he wouldn't make out with you otherwise. I don't think you not having sex with him is an issue and if it were would you want to be with him? It was only a first date after all that's a little much to expect. I wouldn't expect it. I think he'd be expecting too much and was demanding if he did. Not sure what's up here. Time will definitely tell.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You honestly should just talk to him about it. He sounds like a pretty nice guy and must have understood that you just weren't ready to have sex with him yet, if he's honestly that upset over you not wanting to give it up too quickly then maybe you should rethink who you're getting involved with.


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  • Don't ever think that you blew something just because you didn't sleep with the guy. Honestly, you probably would've felt worse had you slept with him and then he ignored you.