Met him one night, really want to see him again?

I'm in my final year at university, and while people I know are beginning serious relationships, it's never something which has really crossed my mind. However, one evening a few months ago, I went to a friend's party and there was a boy there I didn't know; it turned out he was a friend of the host, and was visiting from another university. We went out with friends, and got to know each other fairly well over the next few hours, discussing everything from what we studied to politics; he was unassuming and kind; basically, completely different from the majority of boys I had met up until then. Towards the end of the evening, I felt his hand quite deliberately brush my waist. Giddy with surprise, we ended up "spending the night together";this is something I would not usually do.

However, he was quite keen that nobody find out, including our mutual friends, and here I have to admit my own stupidity, as I told a friend who isn't that well connected with the group he knows, after she asked me what I got up to that night out of concern for my whereabouts. However, another girl got access to her phone, read what I had said, and asked the boy if this was true. A few hours later, everyone in that group knew, although by this time he had left to his own university via train.

Once the excited "hype" of that happening had died down, I realised that I couldn't stop thinking about him;not only was the sex amazing (although I was actually told later that he had been a virgin and I was his first), I felt a connection with him unlike any other boy.

I know it's unlikely I will see him again unless he comes back to visit, and he probably considers me "untrustworthy" now (even though I'm not), as I unwittingly let everyone know, although I will be surprised if he didn't tell his own friends when he got back to university. However, I would love to get to know him better and potentially date him, although I know that if he were interested he would have c

called/messaged me since the event (I heard that he asked a girl out on a date after, but don't think anything came of it).

Would you say there is any point in messaging him to say that, if he is in the area again, I would love to get dinner/coffee? Or did he just genuinely want to lose his virginity and consider me a "one time thing", disregarding the fact that we have mutual friends and that he could possibly bump into me again?
Perhaps also because it was his first time, he was worried about the "quality" of the se x, but I honestly enjoyed him and his unassuming-ness the most of anything, ever. I just can't shake the feeling though, that I was an "object" for him to lose his virginity with. However, on the up-side of that, he chose me for this somewhat "momentous" event; so he potentially found me at least a bit attractive, or maybe something about me which had stopped him from sleeping with a girl until then?


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  • its not your fault that the girl blabbed. If you see him again maybe apologize? I also don't see why he wanted to keep it a secret...

    • honestly after reading your post, and I hate saying this, it seemed like he used you, he thought "this girl likes me" and like a lot of people, just wanted to "do the deed". He asked a girl out after you for christ sake. There's no harm contacting him though, it's hard to know what he would want.