Do you always think friendship means rejection even if they say they 'like' you but are not ready to date anyone?

Why is frendship seen like sych a horrible thing? I dont like dating guys i dont know well, and things moved too quickly the last tiime i tried that and i ended it. I dont want to make that mistake again. Especially when i really like the person.

I understand if some people just dont want to wait. Ok thats your choice but be honest about that. dont say its bc you're rejected whjen you're not. Do people even bother asking if it means rejection before running with that assumption?

It really frustrates me that friendship is taken as a euphemism for 'rejection'. Thats so disrespectrful to the sanctity of friendship.

Friendship is a very important step in any relationship for me. im not looking for a fuck toy. I want to get to know him.

Does everyone think friendship is a rejection, or just people who dont really want relationships?

Can i ever tell a guy i like i want to be frends without him assuming im rejecting him cowardly?

Do i have to reassure him i really mean it, and im not implying aything else?

  • I dont care what s/he says. If i hear the word friendship i know, its a rejection.
    Vote A
  • Depends on the context. I try to keep an open mind.
    Vote B
  • Other.
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you say you want to be friends and just leave it at that then its a rejection.

    If you want to be friends first but you're absolutely leaving the door open to a future relationship, basically taking it slow, then you have to say thats what you want.

    Without that qualification its a rejection.

    • but taking it slow sounds like dating,. i dont want it to sound like dating, and it doesn't seem right to say i want to be friends so we can tale it slow bc if they want to date others they are free to,.

      i guess i dont know how to say it where it does not sound like a rejection, or like im just expecting him to 'wait',. i dont want him to feel either way.

      I do want to take things slow but you can't just say that out of no where.

      i guess saying maybe we could try to be friends first and see how it goes. but that sounds a bit like a tease so I don't know. nothing sounds right.

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    • honestly i dont know what dating is. or at least i dont think any two people have the same definition. once you say ate you have to explain what you mean or deal with peoples assumptions which gets messy. so id rather be friends first so we get a sense of what united mean without pressure. like for many people dating means hanging out plus sex. im not ready for sex and if he assumes dating is a gradual climb up the sexual ladder hell be frustrated and feel tricked. whereas friendship never implies sex unless clearly stated.

      i 'want' to date him but im not 'ready' to.

    • Then you need to communicate with him so you're both on the same page

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What Guys Said 1

  • Most girls are in fact rejecting a guy when they say that though. Most guys know what they want immediately. They don't need time to mull things over.

    I personally would never date a friend because if things didn't work out then I didn't just lose a girlfriend I also lost a friend and it makes breaking up so much worse.

    • it isn't about not knowing what you want. you can know what you want and still want to take things slow. i already know i want to try a relationship but i want to get to know him better before we are in a situation where there are expectations.

      Also it may be your experience that guys say they now what they want, but unless you actually date guys you'd have a hard time knowing by experience. in my experience i dont see 'most guys' knowing what they want. some guys know and are ready, others dont or are nervous not ready or play games,. i only see guys saying guys know what they want. its got nothing to do with what actually happens.

      i dont think you need to lose friends after a break up you just need space. you can be friends again after a while. and dont you become friends in a relationship anyhow? if not how do you function?

      How sudo you decide most girls or any girls are rejecting you when they say they want to be friends, if you never stick asrounbd to find out?

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    • and or he didn't trust me.

      at the time i took his uncertainty-he literally said idk- as a rejection, but since he continued spending time with me regularly and asked me out again i thought possibly he just was uneasy about trying things again. or maybe just not 'ready'., but I don't know if oi should be applying not ready to someone who was originally ready very quickly. its easy for me to assume people are not ready bc i need time, but i think that can be unhelpful. like i can be patient when what i actually should do is clear things up then just let him decide what he wants. patience i guess can come across as disinterest. even though it isn't that with me. I don't like pushing people, but that can go to an extreme.

      anyhow bc of his weird response when i asked him id decided i was rejected and began to move on so when he asked me out i was caught off guard and it was just kind of a mess. i dont want to keep inadvertently playing date-tag. So i think instead of asking him out to even

    • things out iota be better if we talked. im jut not sure what to say, and for good reason it seems pretty delicate if what i say can easily be construed as rejection. but since I've been consistently -if awkwardly- making an effort that might help him trust me.

      im honestly not even against dating its just im worried bc things have been crazy if we jump into stuff right on the back of misunderstandings it'll just blow up. i would like to 'start over' but i dont know if anyone can really do that vc the past doesn't disappear. but i guess i can try talking it out. maybe he doesn't care anymore. maybe he does, but id probably feel worse doing nothing , rather than trying sand getting rejected... rejection makes for excellent closure.

      just not sure what to say.

      thanks for reading all that if you did :)

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