My boyfriend wasn't interested in spending New Years with me even though he didn't have plans?

When we first started dating, I asked him about NYE, he said he was spending it with family. I thought fair enough it's a new relationship. But now it's year later. Shouldn't he want to spend NYE with me by now? Since I tried initiating last year for NYE, I didn't say anything. Just made my own plans. Figured if he were interested he would say something. He texted me at 1130pm saying "I hope you aren't still stuck at work. Sending you early loves and kisses for New Years" I told him I got stuck till 10 and was on the way to a party. Then I realized he was sending EARLY early wishes, which implied he wouldn't be available around midnight. Last year he spent a lot of time texting me after midnight and was interested in my activities.
So I asked him what he was up to, he said, "Running! " Then my phone totally died and at 1am I realized he hadn't sent messages since. No happy new years, nothing. I explained about my phone dying and my crazy NYE and wrote, "Aw I wish I knew you were running, would have loved to join you for a New Years run." He ignored the message for over an hour (he's glued to his phone all the time so this makes me suspicious.) Then wrote, "FYI I would love to run some more with you that's why I sent you a little something 😉". But he knows I like to run. It's weird that he didn't invite me along, no? It doesn't seem like he really had plans. Plus he sent the NYE text early and then disappeared for over an hour. Should I be suspicious? I'm a little hurt that he didn't try to see me especially since we haven't seen each other in 2 weeks due to our insane jobs. He knows I love running. And this would have been a chance to have a nice date and sleepover. This is a very bad sign right? What's a good way to bring it up?

To clarify, He was the one who wrote, "FYI I would love to run some more with you that's why I sent you a little something 😉"


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What Guys Said 1

  • Hi,

    I think that at this point in your relationship, you're right to feel hurt and suspicious if he doesn't want to spend New Years with you. Spending time with family is important, but a year later it's time to spend time with your SO, whether at NYE or anywhere else. Sending you "loves and kisses" just doesn't so it, and texting you is no substitute for spending time with you. It IS a very bad sign.

    • So I asked him what he would up doing for New Years and he told me he ran a midnight race- that it's the last race he needs to run to qualify for the NYC marathon. I looked up on line and sure enough that was a 4 mi race that started at midnight (We live in NYC) . I think it's weird he never mentioned it and I wonder if he would have told me about it at all if I didn't ask. He still made no mention of seeing me this weekend. He implied he won't be seeing me tonight by saying that his mom is depressed about a family fallout and that he and his siblings are going to cheer her up. He knows I work Sunday so tonight l would have been the only chance to really sleep in together and enjoy a lazy weekend day together.

    • The question really boils down to how much time and energy you're willing to waste on this pseudo-relationship. I'm glad that you picked someone in-shape enough to run a marathon, but that does you no good if you never actually have a relationship. A guy that's into you will want to spend time with you. This guy doesn't so he's just keeping you on the string. You have to face that fact and move on.

      Good luck!

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