Will this money issue be fatal to our relationship?

So I'm 20 and been dating a guy (21) for 5 months now, but we've agreed that we have eyes only for each other and I would say we're in a relationship. I have never met his family and he invited me to his dad's birthday at a fancy restaurant next week, he said his parents want to finally meet me. But the thing is, his family is very wealthy and mine is not. My mom has always been a single mother who used to work in office doing paper work, but when I moved to other town to go to uni, she had to move to other country because of low salary and now she is a cleaning lady in other country and makes a lot more money than she used to. But we are still living on a tight budget. My dad went to jail when I was little and I don't know anything about him. I'm having a part-time job in a childcare and I only make about 200€ in a month. I can't work full-time because I also go to uni and wouldn't manage to do so. The guy I'm dating also goes to uni, but doesn't have to work 'cause he gets all the money from his parents (which is a lot!). The thing I'm most afraid of is that what am I going to say when his parents ask at the dinner what my parents do? I don't want to say my mom is a cleaning lady, even my SO doesn't know that.

He drives a fancy car, has a nice apartment, has like 5 electric guitars 'cause he plays in a band and now he is asking from his parents to buy him a new 2000€ electric guitar + some other 2000€ thing that goes with it. I rent a small apartment with two other people, use a public transport and I was in heaven when I got the iPhone 6 for Christmas from my mom who now has to pay two years every month for it.
I also want to know why he's so cheap with me. He has never offered to pay for my meal when we go out (which is at least 2x a week). When his bill is 30€, mine is usually 10€ 'cause I know I can't afford myself so much. Luckily I'm a petite girl, so I can get full quite easily. :)
For Christmas, I didn't get anything from him, but I let a painter draw a picture of him which cost me 60€ + I wrote him a letter in which I wrote all the reasons why I'm happy to be with him. He loved it to tears.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you are worried about what *might* happen before knowing what his parents think of you. You boyfriend apparently likes you. He thinks enough of you to introduce you to his father... on his father's birthday. I doubt if he would do that if he thought there would be a problem.

    Your background is not nearly as important as what you do with it. You are going to uni to try to make something of your life. That's an admirable quality. How can anyone fault you for that?

    As far as him not paying for things. People who grow up wealthy tend to have no concept of money. Money seems unlimited to them, and they totally don't get that other people don't have unlimited money. They have no concept that 10 Euro for dinner might be a big expense for someone. It might not even occur to him that it's a burden on you.

    It's also possible that he's testing you to see if you are after his money, or if you genuinely like him.

    But bottom line is that things seem to be OK now. So I would not worry about things that may or may not happen in the future.

    Besides, do you know his parents background when they grew up? Maybe his mother used to be a cleaning lady and his father washed dishes for a living.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Wholly fuckin Apple! Did you score my dream guy! RICH AND PLAY THE GUITAR! AAAAA! GIRL DOES HE HAVE ANY FRIENDS! hahah

    To answer your question! My mom like that as well! And I am likr you but I don't work! Anyway the point is that he doesn't buy you things because he probably dealt with girls taking money from him and not liking him for him! Second of all... You need to tell him about your family don't be ashame of your roots! You should be proud that your mom a hard cleaning lady! My mom is too! I look up to her! She didn't have a chance to go to college but she works hard every single day for her kids! She does the best she can! And I am proud to call her my mom! I love her very much! And if he decide to judge her and his family does than so be it! I am not ashamed of calling my mom a janitor and my dad a bus driver! I love them! They might not be rich but they are loyal and they love me regardless!


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • He's stingy. There is a fine line between not being taken advantage of and being a selfish asshole.

  • Tell the truth. It is what it is and its not like they are going to think less of you if you say otherwise, its you thats important.

    Also your boyfriends seems like a spoilt rich kid, keep an eye on him as as he relies on his parents money rather than making something for himself.


What Girls Said 1

  • Be honest with them. Never be ashamed of your mom. She's obviously struggled to make ends meet and raise you as best she could under her circumstances. The hardest job in the world is being a single parent, it shows her strength of character. Be proud of that fact.

    If his parents look down on you or your mom then I wouldn't go to their home again. That's your mom and they have no right to have a negative attitude towards her or what job she does for a living.

    Just because they are wealthy it doesn't necessarily mean they'll look down on you because you are not wealthy. My parents have always been wealthy and they've never looked down on my friends or boyfriend just because they come from a different background. It all dependeds on who they are as people. If someone didn't accept my mom or background then they'd have no place in my life.

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