Do You Ever Feel Like the Problem is You, but You Don't Know What You're Doing Wrong?

I tend to end up with selfish lovers. Since most have been selfish, I've concluded that the problem must be based on something I'm doing wrong (or I'm extremely unlucky). However, I'm befuddled as to what I'm doing to attract such women. Do you feel the same way about the girls/guys you date in any way? It doesn't have to concern selfishness, but does any other undesireable trait appear errily often in the people you date?

  • Yes
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  • No
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  • Depends (explain)
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  • I, too, have had a propensity for selfish lovers in my past. That's especially true of my first serious relationship, where I was always giving, rarely receiving; always initiating, rarely feeling pursued.

    I concluded that it was something wrong with myself, and I was right. I was able to fix the issue by being much more assertive, much more comfortable with the validity of my needs. If I don't get what I want, then I'll move on to someone who'll give it to me.

    It was a big game-changer for me. My next relationship (which has since ended) was so... equal. It was such an enlightening, fulfilling experience for me. She tended to my wants and needs not just with a willingness, but a happiness. This is especially important because, as a man, a good portion of the emotional closeness I feel stems from the physical intimacy I share.

    Needless to say, it was a great learning experience for me.

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