Is he ignoring me because he's depressed or something else? What should I think?

If a guy you are seriously talking to has a job is causing him to have depression and he can't leave it, what should you do?
He hasn't actually said he has depression, just that he thinks he needs medicine for it. His shifts are 6pm-6am 12 hours long.
He has maybe 1 or 2 days off a week.
He started to become more distant after he took the hours but he at least tried to talk.
Last week things got weird and he said 'i just don't want you to be with someone who's gonna be in a bad mood all the time' but then we talked after that like normal and then he just stopped replying.
I haven't heard from him in 5 days and I'm wondering if it's because he's in a bad place right now and needs some space or if he just doesn't like me anymore? In the past we've gone a few days without talking because of his job or phone problems but it's never been this long.
Right before this I had met his parents. And talked about the future. The job drains him and he's depressed even the times I see him. We live an hour apart and it kills me to not know what's going on. We were literally in the middle of a conversation and he just didn't text back. I would think after 5 months he would tell me what's happening. If it's depression I don't want to be too pushy, he doesn't like talking about his emotions very much. But I'm worried that not talking to me for a week would just push him further away. I had said some stressful things to him right before this [which I had never done and it was completely unlike me] and I know it just made him feel even worse about his life. He's told me before he think he never has any time for himself but this was the day before I met his family and I figured things with us would be ok since we are an hour apart anyways. I don't want to smother him but what if he thinks I don't care because I haven't reached out? He hasn't reached out either. Should I assume he ended things because of the comment he made?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Don't over analyze it. He made his choice, trying to figure out why, won't change the situation.

    • Thank you ;] After 5 months of being serious I didn't think he would just leave me in the dark with no clue about what's going on.

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    • Yeah that's awful. I just hate this. My goal is to get him to agree on seeing each other in person so I can lay all my feelings out on the table. If I don't do it I will regret it forever. It's so hard to know what to do.

    • Telling him how you feel won't change how he behaves. People like him don't learn from consequences, and don't adjust their behaviour, even if you think they should "if they cared". Don't hold out for him to ever change.