Do guys hate when girls ACT innocent but really aren't? Would you consider this being fake?

I ask this BC I look pretty innocent.. I'm small, quiet, I'm very open minded and am kind to everyone!!! I laugh and smile a lot too! Just in general I give this "nice, sweet girl vibe" which I AM lol but I smoke and drink and have broken laws (which I'm not gonna get into) and I curse a lot (if that matters), I've sneaked out a lot, and I lie a lot not to friends but to my parents/teachers/etc. I also don't let a lot of people know these things about me. Just friends/cousins. I am a really quiet person except around my friends I am more free spirited I guess.. Well I like this guy who has up until recently only seen my innocent side and I'm afraid he would dislike me for this? I don't wanna hide this other side from him but at the same time I don't want him to feel like I'm 2 different people. Is this a deal breaker for guys? Do u think I am fake for being this way? Would u be upset if a girl you thought was one way, actually was opposite?

  • i like a bad side to an "innocent" girl!
    Vote A
  • i would feel deceived
    Vote B
  • i could care less
    Vote C
  • it would be hard for me to trust her in a relationship
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
I never told the guy I was innocent... People just assume.


Most Helpful Guy

  • A lack of innocence would only really bother me if it meant you had an STD or a kid or something like that. If you didn't, it would be fine.

    I'm kind of similar in a way, but kind of not. I kind of have the opposite problem. I wish girls would see that just because I have an innocent side, doesn't mean I'm boring. Just because I'm not rebellious doesn't mean I'm Ned Flanders.

    I really am the nice, sweet, warm and friendly guy that I present myself as being, for the most part. I curse when I'm angry but I try to keep it to a minimum. I do have an other side though - I like my rock 'n roll, I like to drink brews, and I've taken magic mushrooms and acid before and would do so again. I found them fascinating. That's not a side I present to everyone, of course. Only friends.

    But it's not realistic to expect people at our age to be as innocent as we were when we were kids. The older we get, the harder it is to find anyone with much of an innocent side left at all. By now everyone's drank and done that kind of stuff, at least. The fact that you even try to still maintain an innocent side, I would find it sweet and endearing.

    • You don't seem boring at all! You seem like a nice guy and I'm sure there is a nice girl out there for you! l actually like genuinely nice guys which is weird BC even though I am nice and quiet I am so rebellious and "in the moment" and not really strong in any kind of belief and I just do things to do them. I dont really have opinions on much either lol which I hate about myself. I am attracted ti people who are overall kind, genuine, good people who are true to themselves and strong in their beliefs/morals which is why I am afraid the guy I am attracted to or any nice guy in fact will not want a relationship with me.. We would be so different. Anyways thank you for answering! And you were the least judgmental out of most of these guys So you get the MHO! :)

    • Thanks. You remind me of the girls I liked in the way that they partied a little and were somewhat spontaneous, but still had a lot of sweetness to them.

      I'm also glad to see you're attracted to kind, genuine people with morals - it's starting to seem like most women are into cocky, macho sleazebags these days and that a lot of women see kindness, gentleness, and morality as weak and "uncool". It gets pretty discouraging sometimes.

      But while I'm glad you think I'm not boring, I do think I need to work on being more interesting, having more passions, more to bring to a conversation since it's something I value myself.

      Thanks for MHO :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • People are so ridiculous. "Oh, he'd be soooo deceived"


    Here's a fairy tale:
    Once upon a time, there was this guy. He met a girl, and she revealed everything about herself to him, on the first date.

    Notice that this is a FAIRY TALE.
    Because it does not exist.
    Doesn't exist.

    People have different sides. WOW. How about that. Shocker.

    ... And they take time to reveal those sides! Double shocker.

    ... And they don't act the same around everyone! Triple shocker. I know, absolutely totally crazy triple shocker.

    I have a dog who is completely terrified of everyone and everything. But around us, she is all playful and even growls and shit. Because comfortable. Reveals self over time.

    To the original poster:
    Obviously, no, you do not have to dump all this at once. Yes, you are real person, with imperfections. You curse, and you also shit and fart and make mistakes and all that stuff. Because you are a real person.
    You and your man will discover each other, over time.
    Discovery is fun.

    I've been with my man for 15 years, and I am still discovering him.

    All the people saying "You're fake" are wrong. Incorrect answer. Fail at understanding real people in real world.
    Fail at life.

    Just chill and be yourself.

    • I may not be the asker but I just loved reading this so much.

    • @Anon1997 Thanks!

    • Love your response!! thank you for understanding me and taking the time to write the TRUTH!!! MHO :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 11

  • when i think innocent i usually mean hasn't been around the block. what you describe just sounds like teenage fun.

    • Thank you! Just trying to have some fun here w/o telling the world but people see this as fake I guess..

  • At this point in my life I see through an act like a tissue paper dress in a rainstorm.

    No time for bad girls and even less for false people.

  • Yes I would, if you act like a innocent girl you better be one or I am gone

  • I don't "hate" it since that's a pretty strong word (that's a whole different talk), I just be cautious of her.

    • Cautious? Like you couldn't trust her easily? What if she was an overall nice person though and was honest to you 100% about herself when you got to know her? would you feel more comfortable and open with her or would you still be cautious

    • Yes, cautious as I would slowly trust her. As I got to know her and she was 100% honest about herself I'd trust more of her. in my opinion, there's a thin line between deception ("acting" if you will) and holding back.

  • i mean i don't care, but if you smoke, that's an instant no... that's fucking gross.

    • Would it be a deal breaker? And other than smoking would you be ok with this in a girl? Thank u for answering btw!

    • yeah. smoking is absolutely disgusting. like, i'm fairly leniant on most things, but smoking is an absolute no. it depends on how she acts. stating random facts, not explaining what kind of laws you break or how often, and no interaction with how you actually act around people, no one can say. like, i know a lot of people who curse like sailors and i don't care, but i don't like all of them. i know some people who steal and they're ok people around me. i know people who don't drink or do any of that shit and are annoying as fuck.

  • Yes, that's fake and I hate it.

  • Yea, girls like that are fake as hell.

    • Why? how is it my fault that people assume these things? I never say "I hate partying" or "I am a good girl! I would never do that" I'm just quiet and people assume that I am innocent! I get how some people may feel SURPRISED but why am I fake for liking to have fun and not telling the world about it?

    • I mean that if you were acting innocent on purpose just to lure him in, then you would be fake.

  • Honesty first.

  • Relationships can't be built upon deception

  • Women have it so hard in life, shattering their illusions would be too cruel.

  • Funny enough a question like this was asked before and some guys liked it while others guys found girls who do it were being deceptive.

    I guess if your upfront and show your naughty side to the guy from an early start in relationship most guys won't mind. The problem becomes when girls act all innocent and "I'm not that kinda girl" for one guy but do a complete game changer in their personality for another guy.


What Girls Said 4

  • I'm pretty much the same way. Guys have never had a major problem with it (it comes in handy when meeting parents "look at me, little miss innocent"). If people assume you're innocent without knowing you, you're not the fake one. Any guy that takes the time to know the real you will understand that.

  • I hate it when other people do that, my best friend in freshman year of highshcool ("best friend") acted all cutesy and innocent and nice but ended up stabbing me in the back...

    If people just assume thats their issue. People assume Im innocent because they say I look/talk in a childlike way and even act younger but thats just the way I am in real life, its their fault for assuming. i feel like i just end up disappoint people tho...

  • I couldn't care less! You do you! No need to shame others!

  • You should show him your bad side as early as you can otherwise he would feel deceived

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