do you believe in the saying that once a cheater always a cheater?
Most Helpful Girl
No, and I'll explain.
My boyfriend of over a year, that treats me with the most respect, tenderness, love, affection, and understanding, I've ever experienced was a cheater.
He made the decision to invite an ex in that made it clear she wanted sex, and they slept together while he was in a relationship with another girl.
He said he stopped halfway through and cried about it. He then confessed what he had done.
His then girlfriend broke up with him, and even though they tried to make it work later, it didn't.
And about a year and a few months after he cheated, he started talking to me. he explained that his father had died beforehand and his girlfriend wasn't emotionally there for him, there relationship was turning into just sex. That being said, he still felt terrible and knew there was no excuse, he had a weak moment and made the worst decision possible.
But everything about the way he talked to me, explained what happened, and handled himself made me give him a try. And I'm so happy I did. He treats me better than any of those guys before who had never cheated.
Cheating doesn't define a person's behavior forever. People can feel genuine remorse, accept the guilt, and change for the better.1
Most Helpful Guy
For all intent and purposes, yes.
I believe people can change and that people make mistake and can learn from them, but I have zero tolerance for cheating.
Cheating shows to me that the person had zero disregard and zero respect (less than zero respect, even) for your partner at some point. Rather than breaking up to pursue someone new, said person actively decided to cheat instead.
No excuse is acceptable to talk it right in my opinion.
As a guy it's assumed that I have very little selfcontrol and am much more prone to jump to any chance of obtaining sex. Yet, in a relationship of 4 years with sex only 8 times in total or so, I easily and without any sense of temptation while multiple opportunities occurred, managed to not cheat nor consider doing so.
I expect at least as much self control of someone else were they in a similar situation in the past.
Even if they changed, I'm not willing to take that risk.0