Girls, Girl I was dating removed me off a social media app. What exactly is the idea behind this?

As the title states, granted, I removed her off most social media myself for purposes or lessening the pain of losing her. But the thing is, I suppose she had forgotten to unfollow me on instagram. We dated for a while and grew close. Anyway, I guess asking for a relationship was too much pressure for her, and found out she wasn't ready for one. So we parted ways, stated she missed me but that it would be better to just not talk right now, and maybe in the future we would reach out to each other again, but to just give it time.

So my question is, why would she immediately. Unfollow me from instagram, as soon as a posted a collage of a few selfies along with a family photo - wishing everyone a happy new year. What's the purpose of her unfollowing me then - keep in mind it's been 4 weeks already since the break up, and do girls actually believe there still might be a chance to work in the future, of course she says she doesn't plan to see or date anyone, but focusing on herself and school. Is this just an excuse? Or is it possible - future and just to give it time.


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What Girls Said 2

  • It sounds to me like she does indeed want to focus on herself and school. I don't think it's anything personal. However, I don't fully believe that she meant that there was a chance in the future. She probably wasn't even thinking about the future and was just saying that to be nice.

    Of course, anything is possible.. but likely? Probably not.

    The fact that she removed you off of social media after some time apart makes it seem like she has no intention of coming back. If I were in that position and I meant what I said about "maybe in the future we can reach out to each other again, but just give it time for now", I would have deleted him off of most things but had an easy way to contact him... so he's not right there in my face on things that I frequent all the time, but he's still there in the background and I could contact him one day easily.

    Of course, she could always just remember you and contact you later and maybe she wanted a clean break because she was thinking about you and she wanted to focus more on herself and school.

    Or maybe she wasn't into you and just wanted to get rid of you.

    All of those are possible, and it's hard to say which is right.

    I suggest you attempt to move on and forget about her, and if you cross paths in the future, take life as it comes. Don't wait around for her. She doesn't deserve to have that kind of power.

    • I know, which is why I've been dating other women since then. Sadly she suggested it - after I asked if I should. At this point in time, I realized , she had all the power towards the end, and I lost all of mine. But what bothers me, is any of those scenerios you just mentioned could be possible. She's a very indecisive girl... that being said, I guess I should also add, she's only slept with two guys - first being her ex of 4 years and the 2nd is myself, granted she's dated 2 other guys since her major breakup, but one tried sleeping with her, which she denied even though she wanted a relationship with this guy... added extra info in case that helped. But even so, I still don't understand which choice it might be.

    • And she's the type of girl, that wanted a clear relationship with me - but then didn't after she realized she wasn't ready... whether it was me? - I don't know, I did everything right, up until I pressured her to answer my question if she wanted to be in a relationship or not.. we are bound to run into each other since our university classes are in the same building. So I don't know..

    • Hmm. It does sound like it wasn't anything you did wrong. She probably sincerely is trying to better herself and focus on her priorities. Her first relationship probably took a toll on her emotionally. 4 years is a long time to be in a relationship, and depending on how that relationship ended she might have trust issues or be wary of a new relationship. Or maybe she realized she has problems with herself that she wants to fix.

      Either way, you shouldn't dwell on her. You should certainly move forward like you've been doing. I don't think you should hold your breath. And if she comes back and you are available and willing to try again, then do it, but don't wait for it or hope for it. You should move forward as if she's never coming back.

      That really sucks and I'm sorry it turned out that way for you :(

  • Maybe she hasn't been very active on instagram and she just realized that she was still following you. Has she posted other photos before this one?
    Other option is she was doing a "new years cleanse" - this time of year a lot of people go through friends lists on social media and remove anyone they haven't talked to in a while

    • I had already unfollowed her after the break up, so who knows, I know for a fact once I posted a photo - on new years eve, she imidiately unfollowed me. Not sure if she just felt, hurt that I was happy, or the "eh this guy's that I hurt so much, must delete him before I feel guilty" type of scenerio.

    • this was the probably the first photo she saw after the break up (whether it's because it's the first you posted since, or she just hasn't really been on instagram a lot since) and decided to unfollow you. You're right, it could have been a guilty thing, or a jealous thing, or maybe even it was just that she forgot she was following you, and since you don't talk anymore she decided she didn't need to keep following you.