How do I get my parents to accept my Asian girlfriend?

Hi everyone! I am an Indian guy who started dating an Asian girl in college. We are in the same major (Computer Science) and study and go out together. I commute (am working to pay for dorms for the next few years) and sometimes stay at her dorm. my parents flipped when they found out about her. they say that I should focus on my studies THEN get a girlfriend (and marry her). but, my friend who graduated is having a hard time meeting single women, and I feel that college is the best time for a relationship. I have actually got better grades by studying with her, and have made more friends and have even got more in shape. my dad does not object much (mostly due to work interfering with his time to talk to me), so it is mostly my mom. She even dislikes that my girlfriend is Asian.

my girlfriend is frustrated with my parents. i told her that i would be the happiest person if my mom died and my girlfriend freaked out.

what the FUCK do I do?

I am not a psycho
and by Asian, I mean Japanese, chinese, etc. she's Japanese


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ok, I get that it's stupid of your parents (mom) to try to interfere with your relationship, especially when your girlfriend is obviously making you happy and inspiring you to be a better person. However, wishing your mother would die just so that you'd be left alone with your girlfriend is brutal and unnecessary, your girlfriend freaking out is 100% a justified reaction. Get a grip man, she's your mother. Don't say that.
    You're an adult and you're allowed to make your own decision, so just try to ignore what your parents say. You can also object and point out that because of her, your grades are better and you are in better shape as well. If they refuse to listen after that, then just do your own thing. But don't wish they would die, that's just fucked up.

    • Fucked up, like dating this guy in the first place :|

    • my parents honestly dont care how i end up socially or physically. they want good grades and a good career over anything else

      and they aren't that social (especially with non Indians)

    • and I have to lie when I go out. or not mention anything.

Most Helpful Guy

  • It's always the Indian moms who are so against their kids dating others. Just continue dating her. If you really like her, don't let your parents control you or else you will lose her and then regret later on in your life.


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What Girls Said 7

  • Don't wish your mother any ill will my dear. But tell your mother she is the best thing that happen in your life who makes you a better man each days. Fight for your girlfriend for your love. Love come easy but preserving it takes effort, a lot of effort. Don't give up have faith. If your mother doesn't accept your girlfriend than by all means sing a song in kabhi khushi kabhi gham to her , Kal Ho Naa Ho songs to her or Veer-Zaara songs to her. I know my Indian movies because I grew up watching them even till this day and I'm Chinese mix. Love is strong thats what Indian movies tells us. So don't give up on your love or parents. Good luck there will be a day when you all will be happy. Just keep fighting for your love and give your girlfriend courage to be with you, don't lose hope.

    • i dont watch indian movies. 95% of my friends are NOT Indian.

  • I kinda want to call this post fake, because every Indian person I know includes Indians under "Asian".

    • All Indians raised in America call themselves Indians and call East Asians as Asians.

    • @MyUsernameRules OK. Well, what you do is, you have your girlfriend, and you politely tell your mother that, yes, you've heard her opinion, and that you would not like to hear about it anymore.

      I mean, I'm a pretty nice person, but not about stuff like this. Frankly, I would tell them that they should've stayed the fuck back in India, if they want to act like this. Get out of my country with that shit.
      Ya know?
      You can't pick and choose. You can't move here for the educational opportunities and the money, but then plug yr ears and pretend that you're back in the old country when it comes to relationships and marriage. Nope. That isn't how the world works.

      You are not seven years old anymore, and you are no longer under your parents' roof. At some point, you are just going to have to put your foot down, and stand up for yourself and YOUR FAMILY. Which this woman will be, if she comes before your wife.

      Your wife can, and should, come before your parents. She is #1, they are #2. Yep.

    • *if she BECOMES your wife, sry typo

  • First of all.. LOL at that mom thing... next you're an adult.. who apparently knows what's good for you and what's not.. you're parents have no right to meddle in your personal life telling you what to do.. they can give advice and you listen respectfully but that's it.. make it clear to your mom that you're not in kindergarten..

  • How sweet, you need to do more convincing and set your mum straight.

  • Your all Asian to me lol

  • Lol us Indians be so oddly rigid. Don't take it too hard on you. At the moment I think you should just keep dating her and don't get her too involved with your family. After your studying is done and you're settled with a job and stuff if you're still dating which I hope you will, then get her home. Slowly they will accept her if it seems right. I have had a lot of interacial love marriages in my family lately but they eventually all worked out even if they seemed odd to the grown ups earlier. Indians are Asian too, just saying. But sometimes we just lack logic in these matters. Good luck!

  • I think you cannot because you are a bit crazy


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