What to do when your boyfriend's friend hits on you, your boyfriend is distant and it's becoming difficult to keep the friend in the friend zone?

So here's my issue: I am currently dating a guy (if you want to call it "dating" the only time I hear from him or see him is when he wants to... how can I put it delicately... sleep together, and that's it. When I shoot him a text, he rarely or never responds. Now I do need to make one thing clear: we (my boyfriend and I) are both college students, my boyfriend being a phd candidate. I get that he is incredibly busy, but he makes suggestions to get together and spend time together, but never follows through. He is constantly at work and constantly gone. He has also cheated on me (I didn't find that out until she got a hold of me.)

Over Winter break, I was invited to attend a gathering at a friend of his's place. My boyfriend couldn't go, but he strongly encouraged me to go. I did, and had a blast. However, the host, as he walked me out, invited me to hang out with him the next day. Out of consideration for my boyfriend, I texted him right away and said it was ok (I didn't ask for permission but I asked for consideration's sake. I dated a guy that was all kinds of abusive, so it was a natural response to immediately text.) The friend and I hung out (he came to my place and we watched a couple movies.) He did however say, "you are sitting so far away" and, when I moved a tiny bit closer (which was a bad idea) he put his arms around me. We ended up hanging out that entire week until he left for home. The day after he came back, we hung out again and, watched another movie. This time, however, he got SERIOUSLY handsy (I won't go into detail but you can use your imagination) as well as kissed me twice. He also stated, "I am here if you want to be more than friends.)

Here is my problem: I care about my boyfriend, I really and truly do, but with my boyfriend being so distant, an his friend who put it out there that he wants to be more than friends. The more I hang out with his friend, the harder it is to keep him in the friend-zone. What should I do?

I also need to note that neither my boyfriend nor his friend are from the United States (I'm not sure if that makes a difference.) But nonetheless I feel as though it is worth noting.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Your boyfriend sounds more like a fuck buddy to me , so unless things get more serious with him do what you think is best for you but if you say he cheated you should dump him in my opinion. Now for the other just see if he wants more than just fuck and see id he interest you. In the end , I think its better to be single or serious, no in-between, but hey , thats me.


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