(18M) My (18F) Girlfriend is still friends with her ex but some of her past makes me worry about it, it it time to move on?

I'll preface this by detailing the relationship's ins and outs as best I can: Long distance, going out almost three months (short I know), my first relationship but not hers

Anyway from the get go my girlfriend has been friends with her ex boyfriend. It didn't bother me at first, be that from naivety or ignorance who knows. A short while into the relationship there was a slip up on her part, apparently he kissed her and she woke up in his bed without her bra after taking a nap. I find this story to be bullshit and am doubtful its the honest thing as at first it was only a kiss that she later admitted was more. You can probally guess but it was with her ex

She said she wouldn't talk to him again (I didn't ask this it was of her own volition) and yet after a while she suddenly just seemed to be doing it. She also told me about her past at one point and how she always returns to this ex and fucks people over for his sake even though he fucks her over. She says the usual shit: that she never loved anyone before me, that she wants a future etc etc but alarm bells ring quite often

She also has tried to break up with me on three separate occasions citing that she doesn't deserve me - I assumed this to be out of guilt of her doing something but didn't want to falsely accuse her. She had quite a few issues, Depression, Anxiety and I think she mentioned bipolar disorder at one point too so she's prone to fits of genuinely hurtful rage saying things like "she loves me always but her depression makes her hate me at the same time sometimes"

I'm on a year off before university so I took overtime at work to save to see her and was planning on going soon. We talk for most the night, sometimes six hours on Skype at times. I guess I'm looking to just get stuff off my chest in essence but any help would be greatly appreciated.
Insight is what I'm asking, insight into whether this is normal and whether she's in the wrong or I am or even if its just the way things are meant to be...


Most Helpful Guy

  • No man. Its not fair on you. And it seems odd. My ex made me call the girl I'd seen before her and tell her that I never wanted to see her again AND made me block her from social media after. Well, I guess you can be friends with an ex, like long after they break up. If the break up was recent. She might be just using you as a rebound or worse still they might get back together. If I were you, I would end things quietly. That's why its always better to let someone who had a recent break up alone. I don't completely understand the situation, but from what you've said. Its unusual.


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  • Maybe she is right. She doesn't deserve you. Let go man, I can tell you that this will turn sour. Leave before you get hurt. I answered your other question too.