Why do men act interested if they're really not?

I met a guy on match and we arranged to meet for coffee, he cancelled out first meet saying he was ill. He did rearrange and we met, we got on fine and he texted me straight after saying he had enjoyed our coffee etc.
We met again 2 days later and all in all met several times. He was super interested until the last meet.
He invited me over for a massage. Nothing happened apart from that and he didn't initiate anything else. As a older guy I thought he was being a gentleman.
He then disappears, no word nothing. Suddenly 3 wks later pops up on the dating site and says hello.
Do guys in their 50s really still play these games with women?

He never tried anything on and I wondered that as he were a older guy maybe he had erectile issues. We did meet up again and he was small in that department. He typically texts me now every 2/3 weeks but the meets are not as often. The last was NYE and he hasn't been in touch since.
I don't feel I should text him to remind him I exsist.


Most Helpful Guy

  • ILL could mean ill as well as someone else also wanted to meet him but her schedule was very limited (more than yours) so took that date spot from you.

    Last meet massage was VERY forward
    >I doubt he was used to gals coming on to him during/afterwards but don't rule that out, so since you didn't it might have been a deal breaker
    > it's more likely that he wanted an intimate tactile tour of your body, even w/o sexual parts included... I'm sure this ranked you in his shopping tour but we'll not know how you did against the competition for awhile
    > pops up again only when not consumed with work/life & the other gals/candidates; betting he did get a massage response and was busy with her until that went South, now you're back on his mind
    > not games, think shopping and healthy guys pursue gals well past 65yo... of course you knew that?
    > I would say hello + let's grab coffee or lunch ASAP... after all, I'm thinking free massages and maybe free meals/entertainment/dancing and networking his friends until I decide on one of them.. if I were a gal


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What Guys Said 3

  • It sounds to me like he thought you would show some sign of sexual interest either during or after the massage, but you apparently didn't, so he gave up on it only to come back and try again later.

    He's interested, but he probably thinks you're playing games with him. Men like the chase, but not if it means they have to do all kinds of crazy things in order to 'go all the way'.

    Men are designed to have sex with women and women are designed to deny those 'needs' or 'requests' until the woman believes the man deserves the nookie. But that has its limits, especially when someone is getting up there in age. They don't have as much time as they used to and probably don't want to waste it on someone they don't feel is interested in them.

    But, I could be completely wrong here - who knows. lol

  • It's a numbers game. He was likely seeing other women and possibly wanted to focus on a different match. The issue with online dating is that there is so much room for instant gratification, but people tend to still somehow treat it as if it's traditional monogamous courtship. I've had the same thing happen to me as well. It's important to try not to take it personal and just be patient.

  • Who know boys are dumb 💁🏻


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