5 Years and he still doesn't like to take me out with him and his friends?

we've been dating on and off for 5 years...when we first started dating he would invite me to go out with him and his friends...we only went out a few times... then after a while he stopped inviting me and then when it got to the point that it started bothering me a lot and I would ask him about it he would get p*ssed at me and tell me that it should be enough that he brings me around his family and that my priorities are all screwed up because going out with him and his friends is so important to me. It really bothers me and I can't help that , is there something wrong with my expectation of wanting to go out with him? ( o and I'm not talking about barging in on guys night out or anything... I barely know his friends and they barely know me)


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's his friends, not yours. Don't try to smother him by taking away his "guy time". Does he ask to hang out with you and your girl friends?

    Guys like to get away to be guys. To talk about hot girls, cars, motorcycles, and sports. If he's not cheating on you then you should get over it and enjoy the time that he's with his guy friends, you could be with your girl friends.

    Freedom is nice. Couples should do things together but even when you're married you both need adequate time to yourselves. Some people want more than others and girls are usually the clingy ones. Don't force yourself into his circle of friends. The best thing to do is to invite him and his friends over for parties, game get togethers, cook outs, what ever.

    If you're only wanting to spend time with him make plans, let him know, and I'm sure he'll be glad to attend as long as he doesn't have preset plans as well.

    Don't try to remove him from his friends just so you can have more time with him. Just schedule things along side his friends. Make sure it is things that he will enjoy too.

    I went through this same thing. I started out wrong by telling him that he's making me feel like crap by never inviting me places etc. I was over reacting. At any time I could have scheduled time for me and him to spend together but instead I was too busy complaining about him and his friends.

    I wish you the best of luck!


    • I think your misunderstanding....I said in my post I am not trying to take away guy time if its just him and the guys I totally supoport that. See he has cheated on me a few times and some of his exes are part of the group he hangs out in...all the other girls he's either cheated on me with or were gfs during our breaks he invited ou with him but he hates me going out with him or that I ask to ...

    • Gotcha - I assumed he was faithful and that he was hanging out with just guys. In this situation I would tell him that I was feeling pretty useless considering he's hanging out with ex's etc AND that it looks incredibly dishonest. If it were me I would tell him that he can hang out with his ex's and I'm gone or he can treat me like he WANTS to be with me. Not like I'm a play thing on the side. I'm sorry he's putting you in a situation like this. It is nerve wracking.

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What Guys Said 2

  • 5 years together and he never askes you to go out with him and his friends? You don't even really know his friends?

    Sounds to me like his "friends" are some chick he's been with or multiple chicks for the last few years. He's hiding something, especially if he gets ticked off when you communicate your concern about not being included in his friends.

    My girlfriend is very active with her girlfriends. Very often she'll say "me and 2 girls" are going out for wings and a few beers, you are more than welcome to come along. Sometimes, I say yes, more times than not I say, 'thanks but I'm cool, enjoy your time with your friends. Same thing for me and my friends. "Hey, Brian and I are going to get some tickets to a baseball game, should I pick you up a ticket? (No, that's ok, you and brian have a good time, I'll go to the next one. or Yea, that would be great.)

    It's all about communication. Communication can help develop trust. Doesn't seem like you have either in your relationship.

    • Yup that's pretty much what I figured...i just let him get in my head and make me feel bad like its such a horrible thing to want that hell say my priorities are all screwed up .. and that I annoy him and crap but hell invite his female friends out with him but never me.. o well I'm done with him any ways I broke it off ...now its justme nour son building a life without him! I just hope I stay strong and don't feed into his bullsh*t any more!

    • Wait Wait... Did you say, "Me and our son"? You have a son with him? I didn't get that from the first post you made. So he does out all the time without you and you have a child together? wow...

      Good move girl. Seems like he feels that he should have a life away from his baby momma because chance are that's the only thing making him stick around.

  • No, you are not being unfair...he might have something to hide...I would say investigate further...


What Girls Said 3

  • it should be enough that he brings you around his family and that your priorities are all screwed up because going out with him and his friends is so important to you? really? is that like an obligation to him? well he's having a bad attitude there but yet you should talk to him about it. maybe you'll figure out the reason, maybe you and his friends are too different that he doesn't want to mix you all up...or maybe his friends don't like you, maybe he thinks you wouldn't like them, I don't know, there are plenty of explanations , you just have to ask him.and you need to know also why does he have that bad attitude towards this subject.

    one thing's for sure, a man who loves a woman wants her to be a part of his whole life and he doesn't care if his family or friends don't like her, he wants to be around her... good luck

  • I honestly don't think it's a big deal. If he's ashamed for you to even speak to them when they come by it might be a big deal, but guys in my opinion need equal levels of attachment and separation, and I don't think most guys won't their girlfriend tagging along on their guy time and pretty much anytime guys are hanging out it's guy time. Now, if you guys live together, and he wants you to leave when they come over or something that might would be different.

  • He doesn't want to be with you.