How to deal with overprotective parents and boyfriends?

I'm in a fairly new relationship with a great guy. We hung out a few times and we started dating and I'm very happy. However, my very strict Russian parents don't understand modern dating, especially making plans with someone. So we agreed to go to the movies, both got ready, and then my dad says no going out today, idc about your boyfriend. So obviously I was pissed and so was my boyfriend buy my respect for my parents is always gonna be a huge part of me so if they say no then it's their decision. I apologized profusely to him, told him that it might take a while for them to fully comprehend the relationship, but I was just turned off completely when he basically said that if my parents don't let me hang out every so often ( in mind I have school and work fully time) that the relationship is not gonna work. Meanwhile I work two jobs , study, and try to make time for us when I can have some time to myself. I just don't understand why he can't see that I'm trying my best to work with my parents to accept this dating. And now he's mad at me.


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  • It's best to deal in that situation with calmness and a rational mind.

    First of all, accept the situation tht you are in now, bc it'll clear your mind a bit. Understand that your father only want what's best for you (though when we look at it, he only wants what he THINKS is best for you, but he's still your father) and that you have to obey him, he'll still be there for you when thw guy screws up.

    Second, what is your main priority in life?
    If you want to have a successful and positive life, remove the negative and close-minded people (aka the guy). If the guy can't understand or respect your father's decision, chances are, he doesn't respect YOU. Bc if he does, he'll back off for a while, or even go straight to your father and apologize to him and ask him if he can take you out. It'll take lots of guts from him, but if he's really serious then he'll have no problem with it.

    Move on. Whatever happens, you have to move on and keep on achieving your goals. There's a lot of fish in the sea, honey.

  • Well like you said your parents are strict and not every 20 year old has rules like this, perhaps he feels that your parents have full control of you and if this happens now (new) then it'll only happen more in the future. A lot of people will not just agree and take no as no from their parents, it's admirable that you do because you love and respect them so much, however not everyone thinks like this and feel that they should slide into being your priority.