My Girlfriend is Insecure after seeing my exes. What do I do?

My Girlfriend is mad at me coz she saw pictures of my exes, 6 of them. She said that they look stunning and this makes her uncomfortable. The pictures are by reason of social media.

I'm a business man and get much attention about jobs, opportunity etc. I even found my current Girl friend a sales job, gave her my clients, she closed all deals with my help and got promoted after 6 weeks at work. I did this to keep her busy as I felt it will help the relationship.

Now back to her insecurity.
She says she is upset coz if I can make such stunning women my exes, than what's to determine our future, I honestly told her that they dumped me after losing interest but she still feels insecure. Need I say, She Is Also Hot!

This is a problem coz even getting sex from her has become a hill climb ever since this escapade. She gets emotional and says after we make love it messes her head up coz she immensely loves me and fears I'll leave her.
(but won't I if she keeps on starving me?)

I unfortunately cheated on her on Christmas day of 2015. She was on holiday with her family and far away. I didn't mean to but I was made an offer I couldn't refuse. I threw a Christmas party where one of my lady friends arrived looking STUNNING ! Her dangerous curves and flawless design was prepared for Christmas. I ignored her the whole night since she was flirting with other guys and as a friend I didn't mind coz she knows and is kinda friends with my girlfriend.
After the party she came up to me and ripped my clothes off and swore to me that this Christmas present stays between us. I couldn't resist her woman hood and gave in.

My relationship is in trouble coz it was the first time I cheated on her and I can't stop looking at other women and I slipped up again on New Years day whilst surrounded by beautiful woman.

I love this girl and she's pushing me away.

Any advice for this lost soul?

Since she hasn't caught me I haven't hurt her and I can't ever admit to my wrong doings coz it'll tear her apart and make her even more insecure when she realises the girls I've been with are within her prediction and suspicions.

But guys please understand, I was always a loving guy and I still am but I'm being refused affection from my woman because of her "complicated" reasons.

I'm also the victim here aren't I?


Most Helpful Girl

  • That's her insecure self. She should love herself and not be envious of another female. Righteous that's an inner conflict she has with herself and there's nothing you can do or say to change it.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • I mean... We can't give advice for the lost soul if you're continuing to cause pain for a soul that can be found. Its in your hands and me i honestly would've broke up with you if you cheated the first time πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ not being rude but girls with their turning back game is soo strongg.
    I would be insecure always i wouldn't develop 100% trust and you lost it by cheating on her of course? Why be in a relationship if all you're going to do is cheat? If you're not ready to settle don't settle.. Why lead someone on and set them up into thinking you're ready to be committed to one person? Too much baggage. Waaaaay too much.

    • If you individually can't give advise then dont, the expression "We" in your 1st sentence leads me to believe your not interested.

      I'm not causing her pain coz she is ignorant of my actions.
      I was it be one in pain when I did them.

      You say you would be 100% insecure, why? If a man is loving you, behaving, helping you with work, why?

      Why be insecure?

      I have a girlfriend for a reason coz I want to settle, I cheated yes, but did you study my reasons?

      Is she free from guilt whatsoever?

      Or are we bias here?

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    • Ignorance is bliss. People are getting shot out there but you don't know and can't see a thing, so you don't care. My girlfriend is happy, that's the FACT. I cheated, SO WHAT she doesn't know. Im being deprived of SEX from the person I love. I'm the one who is suffering here NOT her. How do I know this? Because she's HAPPY! Im sure she tells her friends she wears the pants in the relationship whilst they all dine and wine at my expense in my absence. If you think not getting laid is something a man must embrace with integrity than many lessons can't wait to meet you in the future. I cheated by accident woke up realised I got something from a friend who didn't even have to share it with me. Second time around I was conscience and did it whole heartedly, Why? I was hungry and didn't wanna have "Hands" on New years that's why and I'm taking it to the grave.

    • I don't know what to tell you.
      Because you're continously saying you're not wrong then you say she doesn't know about you cheating and all of that. Whatever makes your pride lift...

  • You proved her insecurities right "dangerous curves and flawless design" Be honest, it would have happened regardless had your girlfriend slept with you the same day.

    She'll either have to somehow get over it or it'll eat away at her and she'll feel worse as time goes on.

  • I really hope you're a troll.. if not.. then leave that poor girl alone.. she deserves so much better than you..

    • Don't I deserve someone who's there for me?

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    • cuz he did not cheat..

    • @cinderelli

      You clearly lack the fundamentals of getting what they call a "Point".

      I use to get laid every single day until someone saw my list. Now they are insecure. That's why they ain't sexing me. It's got nothing to do with me getting ass from the neighbors.

      Please read and understand before you comment my lady.

  • Give her some drug for free


What Guys Said 4

  • 1) You need to stop sleeping with other women! If you can't do that, there's no point in reading any further. Being a business man, you're violating a contract; so, you should know better. 2) Do not tell her that you cheated; you keep this to your grave. 3) Tell her that you are with her for a reason. You love her. If you didn't, why would you continue to stay with her? Ask her what possible reason that you would stay if you didn't love her. Remind her that you chose her; she is special. Out of all of these women that enter your life, you chose her. Most importantly, remind her that if you were going to leave, you have done it a long time ago, but you are still there with her.

    • Dude.
      1. I acknowledge I made a mistake during December, however it was a reaction from her actions, I was in need of what she couldn't provide which is her obligation in the "contractual relationship", so the contract I violated was lacking performance from the other party to it.
      2. I'll never tell her I cheated, this will ruin her view of men coz she'll be like "I always knew it" so I'll take this to the grave.
      3. She's my girl friend, I always tell her I'm with her for a reason, which is Love of course and I say and do all the romance the 21st century lady demands.

      I don't wanna leave her coz if I did I wouldn't have posted here and would have fully explored the various options other women present to me.

      So any mature realistic advice around here?

      I'm a man who loves a woman who loves me too much and thus is neglecting me coz she fears she's gonna lose me, or perhaps she preparing to loose me? I'm confused and seeking advice not judgement.

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    • Own up? To who? You or her? I've already out it out there that I cheated and I didn't want to. Yes I violated the relationship, yes to all your judgement.

      However though, how do I address this problem? don't tell me my problem in your words, I seek advice not judgement and your failing me.
      Your statement "have you asked her what you could do to Alleviate her worries" is outdated, I'm already screwing other women, don't you think it's far past that stage?

      I love her, she's driving me nuts by not giving me love back for reasons that are irrelevant. What do I do?

    • You established that she doesn't want to sleep with you because she is insecure about you leaving. So, you need to figure out how to reduce that insecurity. Thus, you must talk to her to see what you can do to make her secure. If she refuses, then, there is no point in being in a relationship because the communication has broken down. If you feel that you are a victim, why stay? You should leave. If you like being the victim and receive abuse, then you need professional mental help.

  • You are not meant for her, you are messing her around and cheating on her, if you truly loved her then you wouldn't just give in and cheat, frankly that's just horrible, and when she finds out its going to really hurt her now. You're one of those kind of people that ruins a relationship and then wonders why when you do things like this, not ok dude, not ok at all. You clearly don't know how to handle a women's heart and shouldn't get involved in any serious relationship until you can sort this kind of stuff out yourself

    • Then what would you do if you wore my boots? Please be honest, you have the spheres between your legs to do so. Please shoot your words of wisdom sir.

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    • PS. She Use to love sex until one day BAM! She sees your past lover and trembles. You clearly lack the necessary experience as a man to understand what's happening, I now get that. Please read above what #ilovesexyfeet said on his commentary. Perhaps then you'll get a bit of manly understanding.

    • Ok dude, you clearly have your own beliefs on this matter, I've already given you some ideas that you should try to make her feel like your exes don't matter and make her feel like your only hers but what ever, you clearly lack the ability to act like a gentleman and handle your women like a man. Your a boy after sex and that sounds unchangable.

  • Yes but these are exes so never actually worked out so she has nothing to worry about.

    • Thank you kind sir, you understand the situation far greater than others. I wish she saw this matter in the same light.

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    • One of my exes told me she wants me to visit her for a weekend. I asked why and she said she wants to see how much of a man I've become. I didn't accept the offer coz I know how deep she can dig into my soul, so I don't wanna start something that will shake up my soul. Yes this here ex is the baddest, naughtiest cutest of them all. But deep down I know she is financially motivated. None the less she always defeats me in bed. My current Gal is sweet but is not seeing how dangerous her behavior is and I don't wanna see her cry. But damn, a man has needs! Masturbation ain't cool no more, especially when you know you have the resources to get the proper job done. I cannot even mention the opportunities that arise the commercial environment. I hope my woman shapes up coz im not going to be a boss and a wanksta at the same time. That shit don't fly.

    • I get it haha

  • Troll spotted... !

    • Really. So curse my talents. So what do you suggest? I stop dating as a whole? Looks like you have a problem with a guy who has a good track record.

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    • And affection of course. She's moody coz I want it, I BEG FOR IT! And when I do finally get it (30% probability) she get emotional. She's driving me crazy coz I love her and I know she loves me to. But this is messing with my mojo Dude.

    • Lastly, isn't a lack of sex the world's BIGGEST reason why people cheat. I know if someone ever ended up in a wheelchair whilst married, their spouse would eventually cheat. I'm still walking, yet lacking in that department. Are you sure your a dude or another woman posing as one in this forum?