Are you over dating?

I m seriously giving up dating. 3 years ago I banned nagging and lying. The record since then has been 4 hours the shortest and 72 hrs was the longest anyone has lasted before lying through their teeth. I call them on it, tell them I'm no longer interested and they don't like it and keep texting for months... I don't answer. One guy actually showed up on my doorstep after asking me out... with his girlfriend. I'm tired of the lies, small and large. I've had long term relationships. I'm thinking my life is pretty full and I'm happy on my own. Don't get me wrong, if someone delivers free prime groceries to my door I'd take them but since I don't need anything I don't feel like going to the store to shop! Does anyone else feel like this or been in this position? I'd appreciate some opinions. Is it too much to expect someone not to lie to you?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmm.. I definitely think you are correct. Lies usually exist to gain advantage for themselves, not to hurt someone. It's natural to lie. Lying is about as common as physical violence. If a person exist that never physically fights, then a person must exist that never lies.

    In fact, lies are so common and that's why courtrooms exist, and even there, liars sometimes win.

    There are people who lie more and less than others. If you're curious, you'll have to have a standard for acceptable low levels of lying. I would say 10% is a good low number.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think everyone lies at some point. Mostly small, white lies. Without even thinking. So you can't really expect anyone to be 100% honest with you at all times. They might exaggerate or change some minor details, and that's to be expected in my opinion. But nobody should tolerate any big and blatant lies, such as lying about hanging out with their friends when they're really meeting an ex, lying about being single, lying about something weird like having a disease or anything like that (to get attention/sympathy) etc. I also think a little nagging is to be expected. Actually most kinds of nagging can be avoided if you actually communicate with each other well and if you make compromises. A lot of people don't nag for no reason at all, usually it's because they feel ignored. Listening helps, and doing what they want/coming up with a compromise helps as well. But ignoring them or dismissing their wants (without even trying to talk about it) will only make them nag more. So if a person is constantly nagging, don't just brush them off unless they're being extremely petty. Ask yourself if there's anything you can do to make them content again.
    If you don't feel like dating, then you're free to not date. If you don't think you'll get anything out of it, then that's fine.

    • I agree with you if you're seeing someone, it happens, but these behaviours before you even go on a first date? Is that seriously acceptable? If they're bagging and lying before your first dinner, is that not a bad sign?

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    • I don't go after anyone. these are just guys I've met that ask me out. I'm not on websites or anything. I try and give them a chance cause I know it's tough for people to approach. Maybe I should be less nice. Or maybe it's guys over 30, who knows.

    • Well there's your answer, then. I bet that you'd have a lot more success finding good guys if you actually put effort into trying to find one yourself. You're really limiting your options A LOT when you only date guys who approach you. If you'd approach guys yourself, you'd have an easier time figuring out if these guys are worth dating or not. Plus, a lot of good guys are too shy to approach women, or they just figure you're taken already so they won't even bother.

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What Guys Said 1

  • No, it's not unreasonable; maybe, you should change your tactics on where you meet these men. Do all of the men you have dated have a certain characteristic other than lying?

    • Not really. I'm not actively looking just people that I've run into in shops and things. Maybe I'm just spotting them faster as I get older.

What Girls Said 0

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