What should I do after this breakup?

I'm 24 and have a pretty great career in Database management and my own home. My girlfriend of 2 years and I just broke up a few days ago. We were living together and she currently doesn't have a place to go so she's staying with me but she is looking to move out. We both agreed to this, when we broke up it was 100% amicable. We didn't shout or scream or cry it was as simple as admitting that all of the romance in our lives was gone and we should just go out separate ways.

The problem I'm having is that I know I should wait to get back out there. But with how our relationship was going, I've been basically single for a few months now. We didn't have sex, we saw each other for a couple hours a day, and I had to spend a lot of time alone thinking about myself and feeling like I could do way better than this. I'm a touchy-feels type of guy, it's really hard for me to maintain a relationship with someone who I can't cuddle on the couch with and the consensus I'm getting is that she and I like mentally broke up with each other months ago. There is another girl who has been just a friend but I'd like to ask her out on a proper date. We've been hanging out for weeks and when we get time alone to talk we have a shit ton of chemistry and it's the most fun I get to have these days. However I don't trust myself. I don't know of what I'm feeling is real or invented due to a perceived loneliness. I know I should wait but goddammit, I haven't had any physical contact with a woman in a long time. She's not just pretty, she's funny and intellectual, and we haven't done anything but talk and talk and I'm absolutely smitten with her. At least I perceive I am... She says she looks forward to times when we hang outt and god it feels good to have someone want you around again.

What should I do? Wait it out or ask her out? Is it too soon or has it been a long time coming?


Most Helpful Girl

  • definitely put yourself out there, you should do what makes you happy. As they say "life is too short to wait around and wonder what could've been" so go ahead and ask her out on a date, you might just be suprised!

    • So I asked her out, we had a good time but ended up having to have a conversation about where to go from there. She said she wasn't in the right place in her life to date right now. She affirmed that we had chemistry and that she found me attractive but she knows herself and doesn't want to go forward until she feels more stable in her living situation as an adult. It was a very nice back and forth, one where she shot me down but not really in a bad way or a way that prevents the possibility of dating in the future or from us continuing to be friends. I'm glad I asked her out, a little bummed, but happy I guess that I don't have to be caught up in my head. I know feelings can change and I have a little hope that one day it might click for her more but I'm not holding myself back from pursuing alternative goals if they come. She's pretty amazing and it'll be hard to find that again but I'm not settling for anyone else that doesn't make me feel just the same.

    • that's great! I'm happy you put yourself out there just remember that just because one says no doesn't mean they'll all say no. You can wait around for her which is nice or you can go out an explore your options in the world! don't think you've hit a wall my friend because there is more to see and feel beyond those thin walls.

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