Why can't I stop this?

So here's my story. I come from a family where my parents, and one aunt and uncle are the only ones together My grandparents both had kids and divorced. I mean my grandma lives with her deadbeat boyfriend and has already gone through two husbands and had two kids with one of them and I have no intention of ever meeting the bastard that's my grandfather, because apparently he was abusive and then abandoned my mom and uncle. My other grandma and grandpa had three kids and then divorced. They both remarked, my grandpa's wife dying, and then grandad (grandmas second husband) had my youngest aunt, who died at 21 from a heroin overdose. My aunt has two girls and her husband died, and my uncle has two girls and his wife cheated on him and goes clubbing dressed like a 16 year old whore. My godfathers wife died when I was 5, her youngest was 6, and her oldest was 12, leaving him to raise them by himself. In a nutshell, I have trust issues, operating by the logic "it's better to leave than be replaced" and while that's used to be ok because I trusted my family and close friends, recently I had my best friend backstabe me and it's led to worse trust issues with friends. I also got a boyfriend, which would be great if 1 1/2 years into the relationship, which is pretty great so far, I wasn't starting to worry it'll end like most of my family's does: a gigantic fucking smoldering wreck. How do I stop worrying so much that he'll cheat or break up with me, and how do I stop worrying everyone will leave me?


Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, I'm sorry you've gone through all that. I know it must have caused a lot of emotional damage.
    Second, "leaving is better than being replaced" is kinda valid. It certainly hurts less to leave on your own accord then be pushed out.
    And finally, I'd say that if you suspect your boyfriend doesn't care, you should leave before being replaced. Although I do hope more that he does care and that he'll take care of you for years to come.


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