Single guys/girls, how do you "put yourself out there"?

So I've never had a girlfriend or been on a date, and I always here this phrase "put yourself out there more!" How does a guy do this? I do go to the gym nearly every day, and have a job, and occasionally go to group meetups for church related stuff. Should I just hold a sign in the middle of a crowd which says "date me, I'm single!" I don't understand what to do.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree with you. I don't understand how to do it. I'll admit, sometimes I do wanna scream : "date me, I'm single!" If you find an answer, I'm interested!

    • Yeah, it's strange. I don't understand how the whole thing works. Maybe online dating does have some advantages :)

    • Me neither! Is it why we are single ahah?
      I guess, I wouldn't know how it works either! You still can't scream, can't you? (I'm joking of course..)
      I think it's a bit too easy to say " put yourself out there more! " I don't see how you can make people notice you or like you by simply being somewhere?

Most Helpful Guy

  • Just meeting girls isn't enough, "getting yourself out there" means getting to know them on a more personal level. You don't have to be a smooth talker or a mysterious bad boy, just genuinely interested in getting to know them. Really dig for those things that they value and hold dear to them and truly get to know them as a person. By getting to know someone on a deeper level and taking off their masks is how you start to develop feelings for another person, and vice versa. If you need some help with what kind of things to ask to get deeper conversations:

    If you had to re-live 1 day every day for the rest of your life, what day would you choose?
    What is the most important person you have ever had in your life?
    What do you consider to be the biggest turning point in your life?
    Name 1 thing that makes you feel nostalgic.
    What do you bring most to a friendship?
    What makes you feel supported/cherrished/safe/loved/powerful? ( ask only 1 at a time )
    How do you show your love to others?
    What is the biggest lie you tell yourself?
    What is your biggest fear and why?
    What lesson did your parents teach you that resonates the most with you today?

    And other questions asking about why they made the decisions they did and why they like what they like


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • So when you go to church meet ups... do you actually chat to anyone of the opposite sex around your age group? If not that's not putting yourself out there is it?

    To put yourself out there means you need to chat to females... can't expect them to come chat to you regardless of what a lot of girls are old fashioned so you got to strut your stuff towards them and talk to them! get yourself a hobby or something also...

    • No I don't chat with any girls 😓 Im bad at talking and Im kinda boring. I mean I've said hi to only a couple of girls, but nothing more than that. Going up to a random girl and chatting about stuff is scary to me.

      I go to Magic the gathering tournaments if that can count as a hobby

    • I don't know what magic is.. but if it gets you out the house and you like it then yeah it's a hobby!! Who told u you were boring? Yourself? get rid of the negative about yourself start being positive.. once positive the world is yours to try an own,.. all you have to do is stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself your awesome keep doing it until you believe it, once you believ it people around you will sit up and take notice of how confident you have become.. does it work? No idea but it's worth a try.. first thing first believe in yourself..

  • I just start talking to people and then start flirting with them. That's all it takes. I'm an extrovert and social butterfly so it doesn't really take much for me to get to know people and sometimes get to know them as more than friends.

    • Ah that's good. Im an introvert so talking and flirting are difficult for me. Maybe i should work on getting social skills first?

  • I never put myself out there while I was single, I just stayed as I was, since no guys were bothering with me anyway

    • Yeah, I've always stayed to myself and that didn't help me. Eventually though, guys always go after a girl, so if helps you. As a guy I should be going after the girl...

    • Not always true, lots of girls go after the guy

  • 190 pounds for a guy. I am 5'3 and 115 pounds.


What Guys Said 4

  • First, I don't think you understand what dos the phrase "put yourself out there" mean. This phrase mean that you need to get out of your house and meet new people. Obviously you will not get any girls if you only stay in your home.

    Once you meet new people, remember to be open minded, be a good listener approachable, and friendly to other people (both guys and girls). You don't necessarily have to be an extrovert to put yourself out there. It will be bonus if you can start new topics that others can relate. For example, you do not want to suddenly talk about Jesus if the people around you do not care.

    It takes a lot of practice.

  • "Hey how's it going?"

    or use something like:

  • The sign thing is funny you should actually try it I'm serious! But if your not that brave just walk up to a girl introduce yourself ask for her name and talk to her as if your making a new friend. Later in the convo be playful about sex and that's it. If you get her to laugh she's yours. If not you'll have to keep trying for a while until you can gauge her interest in you.

    Disclaimer:just because she laughs doesn't mean she's into you but it's 10000x better than not making her laugh.
    Be confident and make sure she and YOU are comfortable. Often times guys get so caught up in making her feel comfortable but if your nervous and anxious and awkward that energy is conductive.
    Excuse my poor grammar it's late and my hand hurts. Plus I write enough papers in college

  • Play football ⚽
    Go to gym
    Enjoy everything
    Make everyone happy
    Just be Awesome