How to help and support a commitment phobe emotionally?

My commitment phobe ex broke up with me last month, and we are now dating again. During the break we never stopped communicating and he volunteer to do me favors.

We we finally talked about it and we both want to be with each other. He even bought a self help book to help.

He only read one chapter and he said he is unsure still but now we decided we are dating again just not yet at bf/gf title. We are not having sex even I know he want it badly

is there a way I can help to motivate him to read the book quicker? Or help him to open up more?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like you are on the right track. You need to stay emotionally strong to not let his moods / uncertainty affect you. You need to be your own and his emotional anchor.

    • He is pessimistic. I gotta stay positive to influence him

Most Helpful Girl

  • I see a good Start in which you Both on the Road to recovery where nursing and Nurturing is Playing a Huge Part. Your Patience of Jobe is paying off to the point where he is Reading a 'Self help book' in which he even purchased himself, no twisting his arm.
    Go slow with the flow with Joe here, dear. Rome was not built in a day and you seem to be on a Patient path where I believe that with time, he will come around again to be not just Dating but Mating and in a Real relationship once more. He is taking his time and feels no pressure and feels too he has the ball in his own hands.
    For now, don't move too fast or he could grow these cold duck feet and maybe Next time No Dating Nor... Mating.
    Serve slow.
    Good luck. xx

    • Haha no mating between us. Just making out lol

      Thanks I will remember no pressure and you're right he often have to feel like he is in charge. Not to control me, just to feel secure about himself

    • Show All
    • Thanks dear :) fear level reduce by far now 😉

    • lol.. Smiles from my own Miles. xxoo

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Well, you can make sure the "arrangement" is equitable. It's usually not. "Commitment" usually means men committing to women, women benefiting, and men getting little out of it besides occasional sex.

    So ask yourself this: If neither of you were sexual creatures (neither of you had genitals or any sex drive), would he still want to be with you? Would your arrangement benefit the both of you approximately the same?

    If you cut sex out of the equation, would it CHANGE who benefits the most?

    I think you just need to look at your relationship from every possible angle before you start coming down on someone for "fear of commitment." The fears might be justified.


What Girls Said 1

  • Unfortunately you can't make someone do something if they don't want to. Just constantly ask questions, anything on your mind, the less you speak up the les you'll know.