What is happening here with this guy?

What is happening here with this guy?

I've been speaking to a guy for quite some time and we finally went on our first date the other day. I told him that I am not looking for a relationship and he said he isn't as well but said that he would like a companion and that if a relationship happens, it happens. He kept saying that it was lovely to see me, very flirty, mirroring my body language, compliments, asking about me/my family, spoke of his and showing genuine interest. He took me out for dinner and then he dropped me home and we relaxed by my pool for quite some time cuddling. Although he began to speak about how he wants to meet my parents, that he has a few weeks of break in the next few months and wants to know if I could join him on a holiday. He told me that he would like to do something for my birthday (which is soon). After he left, he messaged me saying that he really enjoyed himself and thanked me. He constantly invites me out for dinners after his work. Tomorrow night I am going out for dinner with him. He messages me saying he misses me, wants to spend time with me and other types of flirting and usually with my replies I keep it platonic (not romantic but sexual), I generally don't say I miss him back etc. However, I've noticed he's taking longer to reply to me, from 10 minutes longer to an hour or two (which I do not have an issue with) but the mixed signals is confusing me because if this guy is really only looking for fun, I can accept that however when he shows signs of romantic interest, I think to myself "Maybe we could try for a relationship if this works.."
He took me out for dinner and the movies and after I was giving him head about a week ago and he said during the head "this going to make me fall for you" and then when he left he messaged me and everything was normal. I'm currently away on holidays for 2 weeks which he knows and has said to send him photos, that he wishes he was here with me etc. We were texting the other day and then he suddenly stopped and I haven't heard from him in two days.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Haha well it looks like he succeeded in the cliche "ignore her for a bit to get her attention"

    From what you have said he very much is looking for a relationship. It seems like he is setting it up for you to be the one pursuing, let's him know if you're interested or not and if it is worth his time to keep trying. He is most likely on the edge, getting to the point where he is starting to think "I don't have a chance, it's not going to happen, I need to move on" but also still stuck on how much he really does like you.

    So now it's really up to you. It's the moment in every friends with benefits relationship where the decision to end things or to start a relationship needs to be made. If you think he is a good guy, the kind of guy who will be there for you, take care of you, be honest and loyal and meetshe all of your standards, then there isn't much reason not to go for it. Text him yourself and give some suttle hints that you might be interested in "trying for a relationship and seeing if it works.." because he has made it clear that he isn't going to try to force you out of your comfort zone. He most likely won't bring it up himself because you told him you aren't interested in it and he feels if he tries to push for one he'd lose you. Give chase a bit, let him know you're interested and things should work from there.

    On the flip side if you devidence you don't want to consider a relationship with him, don't do anything and just let it die off like it already kind of is


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