Is she playing with me or is she waiting?

There is very little on the Internet about this sort of situation so that's why I am asking on here.

I'll tell you about the girl. She's been a friend of mine for about a year and a half but been in a relationship since August last year. She's pretty, Not a perfect 10 but very attractive. She's quite free spirited and some of our friends call her easy and untrustworthy. I can't tag her as 'easy' because a couple of my friends who are very good looking have tried it on with her and she flat out rejected them but she has had a lot of sexual partners, I think she's quite insecure.

Now to the initial situation. We had a 3 week fling in September where we texted all day and spent a lot of time together. We slept together a couple of times and she told my best friend after a night out that she liked me and didn't want to mess things up.

A week after and she went cold on me, she had her guard up and didn't seem like she was interested in me any more. I asked her what was going on and she said she didn't want a relationship at the moment. I know all the 'blow softening codes' so I said that it's best to just go back to friends. This wasn't as easy as it sounds because at this point I'd fallen for her. She had her guard up on me again on our next night out and a month passed until we saw each other again. We were still sending the occasional text at weekends but I thought it was over and went through a month of hell because I couldn't cut her off completely, being as she was a friend to me and my other friends.

This brings us up to November, I just decided to ignore her and accidentally ignored a text from her. She asked why I was ignoring her and I said I needed a bit of space to be happy again and she understood and said that the reason she doesn't want a relationship is because she's busy with her college courses and wants no distractions. I said fine and throughout November we carried on as friends.

Another night out


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What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think she's playing you, because she was honest when she told you she didn't want a relationship with you " at the moment". She obviously isn't ready for a relationship right now, but at the same time she doesn't want to lose your friendship.

    I would just continue as you both were before and go back to being friends. Maybe when the time is right, things will develop further between you both

    It gets complicated when friends develop romantic feelings for each other , because if it doesn't work out... things become awkward between you both , and it jeopardises the friendship. 😊

    • Thanks for the response. The end of the question must have cut out because it was too long 😕 But I really don't know. New years was the weirdest because she spent a night with another guy but came strait back to me on new years day and said she doesn't want to commit to me because she's scared she will panic and mess things up. It's the hot and cold attitude that messes with me. That's why I'm not sure if she's just playing my attention

    • Show All
    • I'm completely unsure about if she is or not because when I first met her she had just got into a relationship that lasted 10 months. The thing that makes it complicated is being friends but I've got no idea how she actually feels about me

    • All you can do is ask her where you stand , ask her how she feels. That way you can then make a decision of what to do next... based on what she says to you. 😊

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