What decision should she make?

My friend dated a guy two times, and feels that the guy is right for her, and he really is! The guy's beliefs fit hers, he is really caring, and whenever they are together, they bring out the best in each other.

But The one issue which my friend is really judgmental and critical about, is that he is really lacking in great looks, and sex appeal, and he is a little bit heavy in structure.

What should she do? The guy is like Reallyy into her, but she is being neutral with the guy in the meantime. Please any good advice.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Awkward. If your girlfriend is attractive and she stays with this guy, she might start to fantasize about really handsome men, and might even get tempted to sleep with one if one makes a move, and that's all wrong.

    Looks do fade with time. It sounds like this guy has a lot of the endearing qualities for a very long-term relationship, but none of the qualities desired in the shorter term.

    If she passes him by, she might find a great-looking man who has none of those endearing qualities, has some wild sex with him, and then is left alone.

    I don't know what to suggest except to suggest that people who develop relationships with others they don't find very attractive will usually end up making one or the other miserable at some point.

    • What is personally more important to you in a relationship if you had to pick only one: sex appeal or a good personality?

    • Show All
    • I really see it as a matter of youth. When older, it's easier to appreciate those endearing qualities -- they increase in value, while looks are simultaneously fading.

      When young, we want to fall madly in love with some beautiful creature, and while it's not necessarily "wise", it's hard to blame young people for it. That's an experience that lasts forever in your memories, of being handsome, of being with someone absolutely beautiful.

      It's kind of skipping that potential youth to go for someone with endearing qualities, no appeal in the looks department.

    • Ok, yea I agree with you. Another problem to this story is that he literally sent her flowers and something else for her birthday... and she only talked to him for 2 months.. I mean thats really sweet.

Most Helpful Girl

  • If she's romantically attracted to him then of course she should go for it. But if she doesn't feel any attraction physically and doesn't feel that spark then it's probably not the right guy for her.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Tell your friend to drop him. His physique is one of the critical elements your girlfriend is looking for in a man. If the guy has all other qualities that she likes, yet there's a missing piece, then the puzzle is not complete.

    However, there are moments when a beast becomes beautiful in the beholder's eyes, in time.


What Girls Said 1

  • Does your friend feel that his good qualities outweigh the things he lack? If so, she should be careful not to lose something that could turn out to be a treasure. However, if she's just not that into him, she should be honest with him and herself. It wouldn't be fair to continue dating him and causing him to think that she really likes him, if she doesn't. If she stays with him just because, she may actually end up hurting him.