Is it bad that I intentionally lead girls on in an effort to force them to ask me out?

I am a really handsome, friendly, and nice (except in this case), guy so I attract a fair number of girls. In the past couple years though I've stopped asking women out completely (purely by choice). I figure they need to learn a valuable life skill (asking the opposite gender out), and to be honest I dont feel like asking women out anymore if they aren't going to return the favor. Women have spent too long sitting around waiting for a guy to do everything, so I figured I'd try to teach them a lesson. So me being the friendly guy I am, go up and talk to girls and get to know them a lot, drop a few hints, and basically lead them on that I am interested (which most of the time I am at least a little interested). At that point I keep that level of interest going but I never ask her out, and I never plan to ask her out. I drop all the hints girls normally give guys to ask them out, and make it obvious I am interested, and then I wait to see if she will ask me out. If she does then I decided I'll always say yes, even if she isn't attractive because of how rare and unique a girl like that is, and if she doesn't then I dont really care, I just move on to find a girl that will ask me out. And thats my philosophy, if a girl is willing to ask me out breaking gender stereotypes then she is definitely worth it. Unfortunately I've led on 9 girls in the past 2 years and none of them have asked me out, its pretty sad actually woman can't do it even when they like a guy a lot. Most of them drop the hints to get me to ask them out, some have their friends tell me to ask her out, others do similar things, but I never ask her out. I dont want the kind of girl that sits around and waits for a guy, I want the type of girl that goes out and does things for herself, so if she doesn't ask me out then she isn't my kind of girl. My friends told me that I'm a total d*ck for doing this and that I should stop, am I really that much of a jerk? I think I have a pretty justifiable reason, what do you think?


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What Girls Said 2

  • It does make sense, but "you leading girls on" may not be such a good thing. Some girls get lead on by a guy and fall flat on her face. And by the 5th time she's like im not doing that anymore. so if you pass up on a good girl. Just remember this exact thing.

  • It's only "leading them on" if you have no intention of being with them. Flirting with a girl and then rejecting her is "leading her on."
    I think the only problem with what you're doing is the fact that you might be missing out on someone who would be great for you simply because you are waiting for her to do the asking. I am willing to ask guys out and break that gender role, but it was very difficult for me to feel comfortable doing that. People have told me "don't ask a guy out, if he is interested he will ask you." "Guys don't like it if a girl is too forward, it seems too clingy." I agree, that women should feel comfortable approaching guys, but you have to understand that we have been socialized to wait for a guy to do the asking. That takes time to unlearn. There are plenty of girls out there who are really really great and I'm sure you would love them, and they probably want to ask you out but someone told them that they shouldn't.


What Guys Said 1