So I'll be 26 years old tomorrow. Yay my bday... but I look back and notice how every boy I have showed interest in they have some how rejected me. Either up front or they would entertain me for a while and then become distant.
I didn't start really liking boys until I was about 15, so I was some what of a late bloomer. I was a shy girl. Guys never really paid attention to me. In spite of being shy, i would show interest to certain boys I lked and they were either mean to me, took advantage of me or just plain apathetic towards me. I never had a boy express interest in me or have a crush on me. Ever and I feel its something wrong with me. I was reject many time throughout my teen years and just stopped showing interest in guys all together. Now I struggle with my deep fear of reject and feelings of inadequacy. I am inexperienced with guys, never been in a real realtionship and I have deveolped unhealthy obsessions with people and things to fill that void of loneliness.
My mom pities me. She doesn't understand why I am 25 and stay in the house all day. i don't socialize anymore. I'm online most of the time. I'm hiding from the world that has left me hurt. I dont know how to be strong. Can someone help me?
Most Helpful Guy
Lots of guys feel exactly like you do, for all the same reasons.
Turn it around - what would you tell a guy who told you this same story? You'd tell him that his main problem was that he had a big lack of confidence, and no matter what he looked like, or how nice he dressed or how cool his car was, without some confidence, most women wouldn't be attracted to him (and that's true).
The same is true for you. Your looks aren't the problem - guys have found you physically attractive. But you lacked self-confidence, and other people can pick up on that immediately, because your behavior and body language telegraph it almost instantly. And that undermined your attractiveness (no amount of boobs, butt, flat stomach, sexy clothes, etc. would fix it), and made some guys see you as a target for abuse - others were just not that interested.
Try to imagine your female hero - no idea who it is, but let's say it's Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Lawrence. If someone called them a name or were mean to them, they'd call that guy out on it immediately. And if that guy ignored them or blew them off, they would confront him - right away, not after weeks. Why? Because they have CONFIDENCE, and they KNOW how men should treat and respect women, and they simply don't tolerate anything less.
You could be exactly the same way - you just have to BELIEVE in yourself and CHOOSE to act that way. You don't, because you're afraid of people not liking you - you don't want to make anyone upset, or seem like YOU'RE the jerk. But here's the irony - the more you stand up for yourself, the MORE other people will like you. In fact, if you OCCASIONALLY hurt a few (deserving) people's feelings, then even MORE people will like you - because it will show that you have self-confidence, and THAT is what people find attractive.1
Most Helpful Girl
Honestly, u just gotta let go of the past n surround urself with friends, go out, be happy, n find love eventually. Who cares if u started dating wen u were 15, a lot of gus actually like that, but ur unique, one of a kind, dnt let somethi g like that bum u out.0