When should I ask her to be my girlfriend?

So recently I started dating with this girl from a town nearby. I already knew her a little bit before but we never accatually spoke. I used to hang out with her brother and the last few days we've been hanging out a lot. The first date was a few days ago and the next day she was at my place, the day after i was at her place and that day after we were at my place again. So we've been hanging a lot since our first date and we cuddle, kiss, say nice things to eachother etc. Now the problem is that I'm already convinced and I know what I want but she just broke up two weeks ago (officially broke up, but things were bad before that). I've already talked about being a rebound because i did not want to be that and she told me I wasn't. I'm seeing her again today and I'm having doubts about asking her to be my girlfriend. Not because of the feeling but because of the time. It's been less then a week when we had our first date + she broke up, not that long ago.

Should I let this hold me back? I mean we have a very good vibe but still, it just seems so fast.

Help me please :)


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What Girls Said 1

  • What is the rush? Give her some time to really forget about her previous relationship and also if you have only be dating for a week, you are rushing it a bit. I get it that you are totally into this girl, but if she feels the same way about you there is no need to rush into a relationship. Take some more time to really get to know one another. Rushing into something is never a good idea, but please don't wait too long either... After the fifth date, ask her out then, she won't be wasting her time for that long if she was not interested.

    • Well that's the problem, we've seen eachother 5 times in the last 6 days and it feels great, but at the same time everything is going so fast in so little time that I'm not sure, i mean 6 days ago we had our first date lol.

    • There is no problem with seeing her a lot, but there's a difference between a date and just hanging out. Maybe ask her point of view on relationships, just to get an idea whether she is ready to be in a relationship again. If she is, my advice would still be to give it time. Sometimes people consciously chooses someone to be a rebound, but this can also happen subconsciously. Sometimes we don't even pick a rebound, somebody just happens to come into our lives at that precise moment and they tend to fill the void the other person left so we let them hang around.

What Guys Said 1

  • Maybe hang out with her some more, get some more intimate moments in there, and find a point where you have not just a physical connection but also a mental one, like when you're talking about yourselves. Then maybe you can ask if you want. If this kind of thing is like some level of making it official, sometimes that can happen implicitly without actually asking her to be your girlfriend.

    • If your instincts tell you it's too fast, then it usually isn't a bad idea to wait with these things a bit (not forever though).

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    • Just kind of work yourself up to it -- you already have plenty of those moments, and they're good moments to kind of probe her feelings, share yours, and kind of maybe, ever so gently, work yourself up to something like, "How would you feel about being my girlfriend?" -- something like this. That's how I might approach it, but you might find your own way to do it.

    • Yeah you are right, i just have to ask it in a subtle way :)