Very confused, could use some feedback?

Hi everyone

I could use some opinions on whether this is worth proceeding with. A few months ago I started working with an Asian girl (I'm caucasian) and I really started to like her. I would always playfully bully her/give her a hard time, etc. and she seemed to enjoy it, playing right back. Eventually I asked her to go with me to a Christmas work party but she refused and I found out later that she was going to hang out with friends that day. So I took it as a sign that she was not really all too interested, and I just pretty much stopped talking to her.

Ever since however she started Facebook messaging me a lot, and she made an active effort to continue the conversation by asking lots of questions. I would even purposely give her one word replies so she would stop, but she would just keep talking. Moreover she knows/remembers tiny little details about me, like what days I have quizzes (I don't even know how she knows these things) and in person she has become a lot more submissive all of the sudden. I actually recently opened up to her about an issue I have been having and I watched her carefully... she did the typical hair playing routine, lip biting, and mirroring my movements. It seems like she is really nervous too as she can't look at me for longer than half a second...

Here's why I am confused however. I have talked with lots of women and I know how interested women structure their messages. This girl does none of that. Her messages are written in the worst English I have seen (and she was born here), she uses no emoticons (lots of ! though), and they are just bland, making it hard to reply. Also we have each others numbers and yet she chooses to Facebook message me.

I'll admit that I have been putting in little to no effort into this myself now as I don't know if this is worth my time. Also I am a 5th year chemistry undergrad and she is a chemistry grad student.


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  • You didn't say what kind of Asian she is. It makes a HUGE difference. Is she Moslem? Is she Thai? Most born here are more American than not, but that is not always the case if her parents have been very strict and she lived in a community with lots of others of the same ethnicity.

    It sounds like she is shy and inexperienced. She doesn't know how to talk to you.

    I have dated lots of Asian women, even Asian chemistry grad students. Get them alone, and they are very easy to go to bed, especially the inexperienced ones. She is probably a virgin, so have some lube.

    On the other hand, it sounds like you could be disciplined for sexual harassment.

    • She is Chinese and she definitely came from strict parentage. I have personally wondered whether she has ever had a boyfriend myself. As a matter of fact we were joking around and I said how I would spank her. Her reply to that was that she would pull my hair which made it seem like she tried to play along but didn't know how to.

    • Now the question is what kind of Chinese. Honkongese? Taiwanese? Mainlander? Singaporean? Malaysian? They are all different. There is even a noticeable difference between those from Beijing and Shanghai.

      Malaysian Chinese are the easiest women in the world to talk to and fairly easy to bed.

      I have the hardest time getting through to mainlanders, I have attempted to date a handful of them. But there is just some disconnect. The good news is that their American born daughters are often a heck of lot wilder inside when they get the chance and go through extraordinary lengths to misguide the gps tracking on the phone, because her parents ARE tracking her every move. They are strange, though. One I know at an elite university will have sex with anyone who can hold her attention for an hour.

      The other kinds of Chinese are somewhere in between.

      Stay away from the sex jokes. Talk to her like an adult in private. See if she will open up.

    • Ok - thanks for the input. I don't know that much detail. All I know is that she is Chinese. She is very reserved though, she texts her friends in Chinese and what not.

      Anyhow I am 24 now and looking for something a bit more serious than just a hook up. I actually don't want to get in her pants just yet (believe it or not), I actually want to get to know her better, and take it from there.

      I don't think she needs to worry about gps tracking, she lives on her own (from what she told me). What's weird though is that when we talk alone and I am serious with her (about some of the issues we face daily) is when she seems to show the typical IOIs.

      Also I am not an overly sexual person, but I love to give girls a hard time and not back down, because it seems to work very well. But this one girl I am actually interested in because she is isn't some typical party girl that I am just going to get rid of the next day...

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