Not liking my S. O. Best friend?

I just met my s. o.'s best friend and the entire time i was uncomfortable the whole. This is the first I've met her in the six months weve been dating. The whole time we we all hanging out i just felt like a third wheel. She dominated the conversations and didn't even try to include me or anything. I know she's been there for my boyfriend through a lot of losses (his grandmother who he was close to and then his dad) and she means a lot to him. But i dont like her at all. And am uncomfortable with the whole thing. And im afraid that because she's been there longer than me that if i say something im going to lose him.


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  • Wow! You are like stuck in the middle of a novel.

    Stuff like this often gets complicated, even if you try your best to keep them as straightforward as you can.

    I would suggest that you be open with your boyfriend about this. For now, you felt like a third wheel because you are the new addition. So instead of being worried of his friendship with that girl, focus on creating your own memories with him. Keep your attention on him.

    In case the best friend has feelings for your guy, she might keep on with her I-know-your-boyfriend-better-than-you facade. Instead of complaining, use it to your own benefit. Let her tell you all about your guy because even your guy would not be able to tell all those things to you himself. Look interested in all she has to tell.

    Now to give her a taste of her own medicine, don't tell her anything about your relationship. Keep her out of the loop as much as you can. Talk to your boyfriend, communicate with him and make sure that you both don't share your issues or anything with anyone outside. Even if you have had a fight you don't make it public, you deal with it by talking with each other and sorting it out.

    Because if you don't talk it out, your guy will look out for help/suggestion from a friend and since this best friend is a girl he will go to her. So in the long run communicating with him is the ultimate solution. Not only will it keep things smooth between you and him but also keeping the best friend out of loop will help you feel secure.

    Throughout all this don't hide anything from him. If something hurts you or makes you uncomfortable you tell him. Make sure you both keep time for just the two of you and when he asks you to hangout with his friends try to be there with him.
    Don't try to impress him or always focusing on keeping him happy. Be happy for yourself. Enjoy your relationship girl!

    Hope this helps :)


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What Girls Said 2

  • You can't really say anything to him. You not liking his best friend isn't something that makes any difference. Who cares if you don't like her? You have to realise this is someone he's really close to and that's not going to change because of you. You'll just have to deal with it or just not be around her.

  • It sounds like she has a problem with you if she was deliberately not including you in any conversations - you are the threat in this situation. I suppose it depends how much you are going to be around her. If it's 6 months since you started dating and this is the first time you've met, he probably already knew how she was likely to behave. You can mention something casually and not make a big thing out of it. I appreciate that she's important to him but I would imagine you are more important to him and keeping you happier is or should be his aim.