My boyfriend has always been a major pothead. Putting weed before the kids and me, constantly. Even using the last of our money to buy a bag when we need a gallon of milk (ex). Despite the ignorance I have towards his addiction I was able to look past it and work with it regardless of how much it pissed me off.
However, lately he's been super insensitive about absolutely everything and I can't handle it in the least bit. Instead of trying to make me feel better about things that are destroying me mentally, he brings me down further. Example: 2 days ago I found out my brother almost overdosed on Oxy's that he has apparently been taking for almost a year. I came to my boyfriend crying asking him what I could do to possibly stop my brother from doing it anymore. His response- "Are you serious? Like you're really that fucking blind and stupid that you didn't know he's been doing them? Your other brother is doing it too. Let it go.". I just looked at him like he had ten heads and didn't respond because his ignorant out lash towards me was completely uncalled for. That is just one example but he does it all the time when it comes to absolutely everything.
That and he has all the sudden been doing everything he can to get out of the house and away from me and the kids. I never catch a break. I do all the cooking, cleaning, kid stuff, plus work 50 hours a week and do online schooling after the kids go to bed because he doesn't help with anything. Its gotten to the point where I absolutely despise him and want nothing to do with him at all.
We have been together almost 5 years and this past year has by far been the worst. I don't even know if it is worth trying to fix at this point but I know for a fact that there is no way in hell he will leave. He gets a free ride here. He doesn't work or do anything but sit on his ass. He's comfortable this way. What can I do? Talking to him doesn't do anything but make him throw shit and punch walls.
Most Helpful Guy
If SOMEONE doesn't find him a job
this WILL get worse.
I have friends whose hubby could make a ton of entrepreneur money anywhere he goes but respects her limited but high paying grant research career to follow her all over the USA and takes sweeping up the parking lot after asking "fries with that?" all that day to "pitch in". Now that she's settled in place, he was able to open his own health franchise and both are doing VERY well.
It takes two to tango
so if he will cooperate in getting ANY job for now, trade it in on something better later then do what it takes to stay on the team... if not for love, then b/c it's easier & healthy for all concerned to stay and work it out than to date strangers, never The Father and work these into something better as husband/daddy... all with interference from ex.
Lawyer, judge restraining order, police friends, vigil neighbors, his parents all need to protect you/yours.
Eventually move to better job less demanding and be open to dating good fathers.1
Most Helpful Girl
It's really obvious at unhappy you are, if he doesn't help out with the house, you or the kids what's the point of keeping him? You've proved that you don't even need him. Why be with someone whose only going to be a weight on you.2