What should I do (In love with an addict) ?

Years I have been in love with this guy who is addicted. He once ended things because of his addiction and the fear of getting hurt. Now I know his feelings have always been there and been very strong... He told me, and wants a relationship. I am so in love, but I know he will probably choose drugs over me... He doesn't want to, but he is gonna do it. So what do you guys think I should do? He has already distanced himself from me, but I love him so much it hurts more than ever. I don't want him to destroy his life with letting the addiction take over. He has promised me to let me in his life now, but I don't see it right now, and I feel like the addiction is gonna make him push me away.

I want to help him find the courage to find help for this and find himself. But how could I stay in his life, if he is doing this? I love him too much to just move on before I have even got the chance to try. And what would make this pain go away? I am a very deep person and I can't get away from my feelings. When this happened before I thought he didn't like me and was being an ass, so it was easier. Even then I was really down for a year or so, never really got away from my feelings. And now? Loving this person more than anyone.

Anyone have any experience like this? How could I let him know I want to be there for him?


Most Helpful Guy

  • you have a big heart. love someone who always put you 2nd.
    there is little you can do to get him to change when he doesn't want to. he says he loves you but if he truly did you would be first not second. you will only be able to help him when he hits bottom and i hope he doesn't take you with him along the way. sometimes the best love is turf love when it forces him to choose between his present life and the life with you. if you choose to stay with him its going to be a long long road and i hope your strong enough to watch the slow down ware spiral he is going threw.

    • Drug addicted always put love on second. And he thinks he doesn't deserve me. I am ready to be there, but if he is gonna run away in fear to hurt me, there isn't gonna be anything I can do? I know it would be a very bumpy rode, but he has also a huge heart and he respects my opinions. He knows what I have fine thought in the past, so he knows I dont accept drugs. He may think he can't be with me for the addiction. I haven't made him choose, because I know it won't help at all. I know he will do it himself, in fear of hurting me.

    • *ride *gone throught

Most Helpful Girl

  • So first you need to realize that you will be an enabler. But you can always offer help but until they are ready for the help it's pointless. This is going to be hard for you because you love him and you need to lease it's going to be harder than you think and you need to be mentally aware of that. It might take him years before he says he wants help will you grow to resent him? Will you give up on him?

    • I know I can't change their mind or save him, but I want to give him direction. I know it is gonna be though and he admitted that too. I dont honesty know how long I would be there for him, but at this moment I can't see any other way out of this situation. If only he lets me in his life as he promised.
      haven't heard from him for days.

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    • I haven't forced him to come back to me or to tell anything. He came himself, to tell me how he cares and so on... But I feel like he is just wanting me to hang there knowing he is there and I can't do anything to be there. So I feel like he needs me, but doesn't see the fact that I need him too. But I know I need to wait, wait and see. And in a way I have no rush anywhere.

    • I hope you don't waste 5 or 6 years and realize you could have been married with kids and happy. Instead of hoping and waiting for someone who isn't ready yet goodluck

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • Move on the title say it all!

    • I have tried that over a year and I feel it is hopeless. I have never been this much in love and I know there was a time I would have told anyone the exact same solution as you. Run while you can, I would tell a friend now. I can't now.

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    • Yup, time heals, but even if it does it doesn't change any of these facts. It just smoothens the edges. I want to be able to think I did my best and it wasn't meant to be, or then be happy that I fought for it and maybe something amazing could happen. But if I walk away now, all these solutions are gonna make me feel bad. If he destroys his life bit by bit or if he gets rid of his problems, I am gonna think I shouldn't have left.

    • yeah just think about you!