I like a guy with SAD?

I like a guy with Social Anxiety Disorder. We only met once in person and he was so scared, he hid his face and kept repeating how nervous he was. He's a tall, muscular man. A lot of girls think he's hot, but he has no clue. He is so uncomfortable with himself and apparently with me too, since he keeps saying he doesn't know if he wants to hangout again, he feels awkward and uncomfortable. I've never met a man so afraid and anxious. I don't know what to do, the few times I got him to open up, I really liked what I saw... but then he hurries up and closes back up again. Any advice?

He's even afraid to see me or talk to me


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  • When I first read this I thought you were talking about SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I have never seen anyone use acronyms for Social Anxiety Disorder.

    Anyway, you are going to have to go where he is comfortable and you are going to have to make the first move. Find out what his interests are. If he likes movies, go to his place and watch movies. If he likes video games, hang out with him and play some video games. Allow him to get comfortable without putting too much pressure on him in the beginning. Do fun things the first few times you are with him and he should slowly start to come out of his shell.

    • He is scared to even talk to me!

    • Show All
    • He'll message me on social media, but the idea of meeting me again and talking to me scares him. It took me a month to get him to hangout with me for the first time.

    • Thank you for MHGirl!

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What Guys Said 2

  • Since he's probably extremely passive, the idea of him asking you out is probably hopeless. So I think you have to become the ultimate aggressor, pursuing him, sharing your intimate thoughts with him, making him really feel like you're the most trustworthy person. He's probably kind of "easy" given this condition if you step things up enough, ask him to close his eyes and give him a kiss, e. g. That'll probably make him want to run away but he might reflect on it and notice something pleasant he never experienced before. Mostly, I imagine, you just have to be extremely bold and aggressive here, always chasing for his attention while he's trying to pull back.

    • Oh and choosing comfortable settings where you two are alone is a good idea, like his own home.

    • I already kissed him the first and only time we hungout. He loved it, but then felt so shy he hid his face and now he's even more shy to see me again

    • Nice! I think it's worth letting that kind of mull over a bit. Maybe it'd help to also just really open up about your self, kind of go in monologue mode, just kind of letting him listen to your voice.

  • I used to have this as well, people didn't understand why. Go hang out at his place. That's the best advice, that or go hiking - that is if you feel comfortable doing that but its probably the only two places for him to feel comfortable with at first since you've at least me already

    • Hiking is good, but it's freezing outside right now!

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