How can I figure out how she actually feels without just asking?

I dated a girl for almost 6 months until she ended things after things became serious and her ex contacted her stirring up trouble only to cause problems.

We started getting back together a couple months later, but after a couple dates she told me she didn't think we could be friends, thought I was thinking we were back together.

I deflated her ego telling her that I didn't and that she broke my trust, and went on explaining that I wasn't going to beg anybody that dumped me to get back together. Told her that she was being very conceited thinking that. It was finally enough that I spoke my mind. It ended up fixing things to where we are still getting together.

Things changed to where I will finally be blunt with her when I disagree with what she says, not mean though.

When we get together, short of sex and kissing, it's like it used to be in our relationship, she is considerate of what I want and need, and I treat her the same. We just don't spend more than one night together, but we still figure on getting together again, maybe every one or two weeks, she lives in another city.

I know we treat everything as a friendship, mostly, but have discussed sex, but fear feelings going too far. I get confused too because I have always had to initiate our date plans, even in the beginning, and have to initiate any text conversations. We always have a good time together, just the two of us. I know she talks to her parents about me as they know the new things going on in my life, they really like me. But, I have no clue what her feelings toward me are, am afraid to ask for fear of ruining what we have.


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What Girls Said 1

  • You have to ask. The key to all successful relationships is communication. I doubt you'll ruin what you have but maybe your fearful of the truth, being you have less than you hoped.

    • At this point with her, I am still uncertain of whether I would want to be back together with her, I love her, but still am uncertain. One of my things is I don't believe in dating more than one person, regardless of the relationship, so haven't been pursuing anyone else. I know she isn't completely over her ex also, so as far as just asking, that is another reason I am being careful. Other than the physical things I mentioned, it seems like all the other signs are there. I'm just trying not to push things fast. We communicate other things very well, and for the short length of time we have known each other we have come to know each other well for that reason.

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