Should I lower my standards and how should I accomplish it?

I have not been in love many times. I am 18 years old and it has happened 4 times in total. Once when I was 12, which remained unanswered. Once at 14, at a holiday fling who remained at the other side of the planet. Next I had feelings for a boy for two years from a distance, until we finally got to actually meet and got into a relationship. After 1,5 years I let him go (for various reasons) when we went to college.
After that, I fell for a guy in my class who is cute, funny, smart and a bit of a jerk. I quit college however, intending to start anew next year. I haven't seen him since so I think I should let him go.

Altogether it's not very much. I feel lonely and would like to start dating again, which has only resulted in slutty behavior from my side, several interested guys and a broken heart or two on theirs. Most are perfectly nice guys, but it just doesn't feel right to date them. Should I "lower" my standards so I can fall in love more easily or should I wait for a guy who feels like the one, which will probably take years with my current mindset? And more importantly, how do you lower your standards?


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What Guys Said 1

  • You can't force yourself into love... just go more out, meet new people and don't be slutty be yourself :) and eventually a nice guy will come around
    Look it this way would you rather be alone or with an idiot that can't make a normal conversation for 5 min. With you and dates you for your look

    • I can't really go out more than I do now lol. At parties I kiss random people a bit more often than would be considered decent and I even had a few one night stands. I also have a friend with benefits. That doesn't mean Id cheat a lot when in a relationship, I had one for two years and never touched anyone else.

      The problem isn't the guys are idiots. I tried dating a guy who already was my friend. We had long and deep conversations, he truly cares about me and is funny, too. Plus he's a good kisser. However, I did not have any feelings for him and the entire thing felt like a lie. Soon he seemed repulsive to me. I couldn't go on despite him being great for me. Id rather comfortably date a nice guy like that.

    • I have the same problem xD and i do the same things like you haha... i dont know i just gave up, i mean i stoped looking for a girlfriend if i meet somone or i get the feeling its not just fiendship anymore ill go for it.. but in the mean time i chose not to think about it.. or il get depresed.. xD

      I thinks its not a high standars problem.. i think we are just not ready?

    • Im very ready I think, just picky :/ I've had a relationship, I let him go because he was paranoid, jealous and manipulative and we were just too different, we only faught. I would have loved to date the guy from uni but he was far above me and despite some sexual tension and quite a lot of flirting back and forth I didn't dare to take the next step and only pushed him away instead...
      I want love, but cannot seem to do my part in it

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