Did I push this guy away and what am I doing wrong PLEASE HELP?

Have been seeing this guy I met online some months ago and we have been talking for almost a year and have been hanging out a lot for the past few weeks. Just recently, he had dinner with my parents and I and the night before I had slept over his house and had sex with him. I then asked him, assuming we were moving towards a relationship because we were hanging out and he kissed and held me affectionately, if he saw me as girlfriend material-he said he didn't realize i was looking for a relationship, the times we kissed and had sex he took as just "fun" and not meaning anything emotional and that he doesn't do emotions well (which he has told me before). He also said he still wants to see me, even in a non-sexual way, to work on the projects we had planned but he has to think about things, is concerned with the fact he is 25 with a job and I am 21 graduating college next year that we are in 2 different places in our lives and just wanted a close friendship-type thing without the "boyfriend" "girlfriend" labels but most importantly-he thought we needed more time to get to know eachtother. Another thing to note is he says he's "damaged" from 4 previous relationships all ending in the girl cheating on him so he says he wants to "fix himself" first. He didn't for a while understand what I meant when I asked him why he couldnt tell me if so far he has any romantic interest in me so far so there was some light discussing and finally he told me that he felt "trapped" so I profusely appologized, he said its completely fine, and we went on with life.
Finally, we had a dispute about me wanting him to tie me up during sex but he wouldn't because he didn't feel confortable with it yet so i kept bugging him to do it until i realized that he didn't what to not just for my sake but cuz he wants to get to know me more sexually-now i feel bad because we wasted 40mins arguing about this and me begging.
Question for particularly guys: bad move I made being so aggressi


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What Guys Said 1

  • From what I've read here, you seem way too forward for his tastes. Back off a bit and give him some time.

    • I plan to, thanks! I honestly did not want an answer that moment from him if he'd commit, i just wanted to know if thats what he might want in the future and also if he so far see's me in a romantic way but he says he didn't understand the question.

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