Can men and women be friends if one is dating?

I know a guy who befriended me when I thought he was being flirty but he said he was just being friendly. He said he's not into dating a coworker and he can't speak on his thinking if we weren't coworkers. We hung out before, he paid for lunch & was attentive but it was not a date.

Being just friends we speak a lot at work, text occassionally, part from the group at outings , and I recently got him a souvenir (free for me he knows but with good $ value). He had a girlfriend by the time I got it although I didn't know. He still insisted on getting it although are schedules didn't align & I gave him an out by saying he may not like it anyway. Weeks later - now- I win tickets to see his favorite artist. I was the 1st person he's ever seen a show with so I know he'll appreciate. After making excuses all day, 3 he admits he can't 'go out' with me becaise he has a girlfriend now (of 2 months) & he'd "feel guilty" . But we are just friends. I'm not flirty so he knows his girlfriend would have nothing to worry about, he almost sounds like he wouldn't tell her for whatever reason.

I don't have many straight guy friends, is there a rule against friendship or strict guidelines for relationship guys? Why would he turn down amazing event if we already went to a show before and did nothing more then hug when greeting & he stood behind me during show, hands off?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Prob Because he feels that he's not giving his girlfriend enough of his own time, as well as he feels guilty going out with a girl 1 to 1. If you think about it if you had a boyfriend and you went out with another guy 1 to 1. you may think its OK, but the partner may not, which can also be a case.

    Men and women can be friends if one is dating depending on the person itself. Some people feel that relationship is more important then going out some thinks its even some thinks others.

    But personally it depends on the man or woman.

    • Sorry for never replying. But thank you for your response.
      They were long distance so having a close female friend with a physically distant girlfriend is probably where his 'guilt' came from.

      And it turned out that when the show came up he told his girlfriend about the show and told her that I did like him

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What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah thats a No No... things might lead into a breakup VERY fast

    • even if he sees us as "just friends"

  • Well, I wouldn't want my girlfriend hanging out a lot with another guy, to be honest. Things like that usually don't end up well.

    • The thing was I knew him for 2 years before they dated and he said I was wonderful and really cool but we're just friends. So who would imagining it not ending well, ya know?

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