When a girl doesn't want you to move on?

It's difficult to word the question properly. A few Sundays ago I ended up saying to a girl I really like that we need to stop talking so and go back to seeing each other when we are out with friends. We are from the same friends circle. We had a fling a few months ago where we slept together a couple of times and went out together a couple of times. I think her ex came back into the scene after and things got messed up. I know she won't get back with him though. I asked her if things were going further and she said that she didn't want a relationship at the moment. She didn't deny anything in the future so we stayed friends. She has also since said she likes me but is too unstable to commit to me at the moment.

This brings us up to last Sunday where I said to her that it's playing with my head and can't be dealing with it anymore to which she got annoyed with me. I realised I couldn't lose her as a friend and said shall we just carry on as we were. She said that will I keep trying to ditch her when she starts liking me properly?

Just to let you know we both have been casually dating other people, I'm not looking for a relationship at this moment until my career path is more stable. I let her talk to me now which she does every weekend. She also asks me how my dates are going which confuses me.

Overall, I want to know what this behaviour means and how best to handle the situation?

P. S. Cut your losses and move on is not an option

The reason why I like this is because this girl feels like the one. I've never met a girl I like as much as her


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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm very confused by everything your wrote so based on what I think I understand... She doesn't seem like she doesn't want you to move on. She told you she likes you and seems to understand that you aren't ready so she keeps in touch and continues to date other guys herself. She also stated she is unable to commit to you. So seems you are both in the same situation. You both like each other, no one else you guys date seem to compare so you both stay friends till you both are ready. I'm sure if she dates someone else you would be a little bothered and I'm sure she would be bothered if you dated someone else. Just remain friends and if you guys are meant to be one day you both will grow up and give it a try.

    • You're right, or may be not friends at all, this type of situations are toxic, won't lead to anything good

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    • Yes I apologise for not wording it properly. It would take more than the 2000 character limit to explain fully. It's is a messed up situation but now things seem less complicated but I think it's because we both know that we are friends and are giving each other plenty of space. But I just don't know how she sees me. She will always text me at the weekend and will make plans with me but then cancel them most of the time. It's the indecisive behaviour that makes me try to move on but I like her so much that I want to stay close. I'm not sure what I am to her; a fall back guy, someone to spend time with if she's lonely or if she's genuinely emotionally unavailable. I don't want to ask her because it will make things more complicated. She know I like her but I was too scared to mess things up during our fling and when she went cold I chased her but since then she admitted she likes me. Whole things a mess. I know I'm not being used though

    • Well if you feel that she might want a relationship with you then ask her on a date. You are just going to have to take the risk.

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