What makes you put a girl in the 'hook up' or 'friends with benefits' zone?

I've found I keep being seen by guys as only someone good enough to hook up with and sleep with. I have never been in a relationship and no guy I've dated has seemed to think I'm worth the effort.

I'm trying to work out where I'm going wrong and how I'm giving off these vibes that a hook up is all I'm interested in. I'm a virgin, I never wear anything too revealing, I'm not very good at flirting, I'm basically as innocent as they come.

The most recent guy I dated, I thought for sure it was going somewhere. It was only once I finally told him that I hadn't slept with anyone before that he told me he didn't want a relationship and that this was just meant to be a bit of fun.

So what is it that you guys see in a girl to put her in that kind of zone?


Most Helpful Guy

  • In no particular order

    1. She hangs out at bars too much
    2. Her grammar is atrocious (for god's sake I can't stand people who say like three or four times in every sentence)
    3. She's confusing (usually due to immaturity or one of those girls who believes in the make the male chase you fallacy)
    4. She still has pictures of herself and her ex or exes on Facebook, Instagram, etc.
    5. Keeps mentioning her ex or exes, especially if she does it out of the blue without being prompt
    6. She, for whatever the reason, annoys me
    7. I don't believe it will work out
    8. I'm not attracted to her
    9. I don't trust her
    10. She has problems (everyone has problems, but there comes a point at which it's too much)
    11. Long distance
    12. She had a boyfriend when we meet (though that doesn't always land her in the friend zone)
    13. She is or seems narcissistic
    14. She is or seems to be a hedonist
    15. Talks about other guys
    16. She keeps giving me mixed signals

    I could probably go on for awhile if you really want me to


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think the issue here is that you are hooking up with guys who only want some fun. You need to find guys who "may" want more. The guys who only want fun have put up barriers that will be virtually impossible to break through, and even then only until they allow it. Find guys who are actually interested in something more, and then you will stand at lease a fighting chance :D

    • This is true. The problem is that I find it hard to know if that's all they're after at first. Their intentions only become clear later!

    • Show All
    • done the texting thing and had a guy do all those things. Still turns out after txting for ages that all he was after was sex. They're good at deceiving a girl lol...

    • Well at your age, yes I can see that especially nowadays. I guess you will just have to wait for something serious when you/they are a bit older.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • i have no idea , i have never had ether of them and married since i was 20

  • She doesn't have the qualities of a girlfriend

  • If I feel like she's had hookups with other guys then Id prefer to be one of the guys she only wants to hookup with.

    If I dont think she's had hookups then Id feel motivated to put in more effort.


What Girls Said 1

  • They don't want a long commitment since they're young.