Tired of making dating mistakes. Have you ever beat yourself up for it?

I am 22 and have only been dating for 4 years because in highschool I was that nerdy/dorky girl. Never had a boyfriend. Within the last year & a half, I've been on one date I don't usually like guys enough to want to date them, but this one was special.

I am confident in myself and who I am as a person, my looks and what I have to offer. Yet, I always manage to make dating mistakes. I always try to learn from past blunders and go out of my way to read books on dating to really learn. However, during my date last week, I feel that I royally messed up in multiple ways. One was that I got overdramatic about something he had done (I got a bit unfiltered from the alcohol), and secondly, I was that I was telling too many crude jokes on the 1st date instead of just showing my humor in doses throughout the dating process. I got a little too comfortable with him & came off too strong with the crude jokes and probably made myself look unrefined, unclassy and not as sexy because of it. Yeah, he laughed & played along, but basically, I looked like a girl, not a woman.

Obviously, he hasn't called since. It's been a week after the date & I beat myself up daily. Many people say, "Oh then he wasn't meant for you" or "oh if he really liked you, those mistakes wouldn't matter." Yet, it was only the first date and he didn't know me well enough to like me enough to turn a blind eye to those mistakes.

Like I said, I dont meet guys I like enough to date often, so I'm worried that I may not come across another great guy for a long, long time, if I do. I know that life is a learning process, yet I can't help but to cuss myself out after making these mistakes because I feel I could have experienced something amazing if only I had not messed up like an idiot.

Any one else experience this feeling? The feeling of knowing you could have possibly experienced a great relationship if only you had not messed up? Any stories would help


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What Guys Said 1

  • It's totally normal to beat yourself up and this is going to be cliche and you're probably not going to hear it. They're right. He wasn't meant for you. If he really liked you, those mistakes wouldn't matter. I'm not trying to say it is some philosophical way. From one person to another, that's the truth. If I was on a date with a girl and she made these types of jokes and got a little "too comfortable" with me, I would take it as a compliment and I would certainly call her back. The fact that he hasn't means he's not into it. As much as it sucks that he's one of the few you connected with, it's just something that happened. It's normal to beat yourself up about it but better to find out he's not interested in that sort of thing now than to delude yourselves into thinking you're more compatible than you really were.

    • "... probably not going to like hearing it*". I was thinking two thoughts at once.

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    • Aww well thanks so much for your advice! I really appreciate you taking the time to help me out with your responses! :) I wish you luck in all your endeavors!

    • No problem! Glad I could help in any way. Good luck!

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