Advice On How To Stave Off That Desire For Companionship?

Well I'm going to just put this all out there for people to see. I haven't been on a date since 2012, and I haven't had a relationship since 2011 - When I was dating the girl I thought I would eventually marry. The breakup of that relationship was seriously traumatic to me. I spent the entire year of 2012 picking myself back up, and unfortunately I tried to rebound, I went on all kinds of dates with different girls, put myself out there on dating sites. Nothing good came of that. Eventually I realized this and stopped and just focused on trying to rebuild myself. Over the past few years however I have come to the conclusion of finding my fulfillment not through another, but by my own work and my own deeds. But I am still a man, and I do feel lonely from time to time, however that feeling of missing companionship is suddenly becoming more pronounced. I now really miss that feeling of sharing my life with someone special, and sharing and being a part of their life too. But, I am also an avid believer one never finds love by looking for it. And my job is a solitary one, I don't really have the chance to encounter a lot of women. And bars and clubs are not my scene. I can be a pretty social guy though, and I'm very friendly and easy going. I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice or pointers on what may be helpful for me, or how to stave off that desire for companionship.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I am sorry about the breakup but happy that you got up again.

    I had a period in my life where it felt like a part of me was... empty, nicely put. I felt hollow. It was like that for a year. I, like you, put me on dating sites, went on dates and so on.

    But then I decided to book a trip for myself, alone, all inclusive. A week of finding myself for the first time, I never knew how much I needed it.
    I came back, proud of being alone by myself. If a man would come and spark an interest, then I would take the opportunity to get to know him. But not for the sake of relationship but for myself confidence.

    I meet a man a couple of months later and we got together.

    If you don't look for it you will never find it, but if you look to hard you may scare it away.

    Book a trip and see where it goes.
    Or go out on afterwork drinks with friends. Talk to someone interesting and ask them out for coffee.
    Or start doing something new, sports, voluntary work or what do I know?

    Good luck!


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