Women, can someone help me explain this behaviour?

I apologize for the long question in advance

I'm terrible at reading women and flirting and dating etc, and I'm trying to get better at it. I thought this girl was interested in me at first, but then rejected me and now still acts the same as before

I don't know her all that well. I just have 3 classes a week with her, we sit together and talk before/after for a few minutes.

Before asking her out last week, she'd always sit next to me, she always holds eye contact with me, her pupils are dilated, she plays with her hair a lot, leans in towards me when talking at the start of class, glances at me every now and then during lecture, always starts putting on lip-chap/hand creams/playing with her hair during class and all of this is so distracting and I THOUGHT she may have been interested. So before the spring break I asked for her number and she gave me that no problem.

So I'm thinking 'OK she likes me, ill text her and we'll go out'. I asked what she was doing wed. or Thurs. evening and she just said 'I have plans all week'. Just brushed me right off.

So then this week everything is back to normal and she is still doing all of these things, still sits with me and smiles when she sees me like nothing happened - and its her eyes that are really distracting me.

She seems really shy, and doesn't seem to have a really flirty personality so I can't figure this out. Am I reading body language wrong? After reading so many answers here from you guys, I thought for sure she might have been interested just based on this body language. I can't tell when a girl is interested or not, I felt like such an idiot asking her out. Maybe she has a boyfriend? She texts people once in a while during class, maybe its her boyfriend? But she never ever mentions him and when I ask what she did over the weekend its just 'worked and didn't do much'. I figured if she had one she would have told me when I asked if she was available during the evening...


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ask her out to lunch that day or to grab a coffee or to plan some study time together. Everyone has plans for the weekends (usually family related) and seriously when in school the evenings are not great times for hooking up seeing how everyone is usually studying around this time or catching up on some prime time television for relaxing.

    When I'm on the go during the day is when I have the most free time to do a short break here and there because my body is on a schedule. I think it would be great to stop thinking about school for an hour during the day just to kick back and talk with a person I like. Just remember that most people have a routine every day so don't go overboard with the taking up all her time.

    • Thanks so much for the input. This was over spring break, not during school (our spring break here). I didn't want to 'hook up' either, I wanted to take her out to either dinner, or a movie, or something we could get to know each other better.

    • I usually don't date until after the semester is over. There's just no time for me to get to know someone very well while I'm sweating over my grades. A lunch or quick outing here and there is fine but seriously a date means the beginnings to a relationship that some girls while in school are just not interested. A quick get-a-way from the constant stress is good once in awhile so think about approaching this girl as a friend first before deciding if she is truly the right girl for you.

    • Ok - I just figured the whole purpose of asking her out on a date was to get to know her better

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I know that I am always cautious around guys I don't know well. Because lets face it, many guys are interested in one thing, especially in college. I think if you ask her to study together you guys can comfortably talk and get to know eachother. From there, you can ask her to grab coffee before/after class or lunch. Once you get used to asking her to join you for things such as coffee/food, asking for a real date will not be awkward.

    I like when guys are direct. Right now I like a guy who flirts like crazy, asked my number, and NEVER texted me to ask me to hang out, even as friends. So point is, don't be like this guy. Show her you're interested. Trust me, any girl will like a guy who appreciates her and enjoys her company. Best of luck! You seem like a sweet guy so it's her loss if she wants to plays games. There are plenty of girls out there who will appreciate for the guy you are.


What Guys Said 1

  • Yes that's right, show her that you are interested. You know, confess to her that you are in love with her and think about her 24-7 and secretly hang outside her house at night and stare at her while she's sleeping.

    In other words she could have told you the how. But she probably doesn't know.

    Heres why link