As a man, what can I do?

I'm 29yrs old; a few days ago, I took a girl out on what was the first date I'd ever been on in my life. It went really well- she told me herself that she had a great time and that she'd love to go out with me again some time soon- but I need some idea of what I can do, where I can take things from here, and how long I have to wait. I'm NOT a creep, or a pervert, or a sexual predator, or a user, or whatever else you're all going to accuse me of being- all of these are things which I've been accused of being in the past by so many girls, hundreds of them, even though I've never done anything whatsoever.

I've never felt the touch of a woman- I've never had sex or sexual contact of any kind, never kissed, never even had skin contact with a girl or flirted verbally with a girl in any way. I'm scared of pushing her away by moving too fast, and I'm scared of losing her interest and letting her drift away by taking things too slowly. I'm actually scared that I already have lost her interest, that I wasn't 'exciting' enough because I wasn't aggressive enough and didn't take any liberties with her on the first date. And I'm also scared that if I try to do anything whatsoever, I'll be instantly condemned, and it'll all be over.

How long do I have to wait before I can risk even attempting to suggest doing any of these things? On our second date, what's the most that I could conceivably do without running the risk of her freaking out, run away and never see me again? Would it be going too far for me to try and hold her hand in mine, to hug her or to kiss her on the cheek- how much can I do, and how far can I go, without killing the mood and racheting up the tension by asking for her explicit verbal consent to do things and go further? Or is it inherently evil, sinister and selfish for me to harbour hopes and desires of doing anything with her whatsoever? As a man, what can I do- am I allowed to do anything at all?

Anyone? Anyone at all? Because I feel like there's nothing that I can do, like whatever I do or don't do, she's going to reject me and toss me away like a piece of garbage for not being psychic and not being absolutely perfect in every way, just like all of the hundreds of other women I've tried to approach did in the past.


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  • Good on you, man!! Well done for taking her out, but don't overthink it - there's no rules here.

    All this stuff about what to do when, it doesn't really work. Go with what you feel like, don't push yourself too hard... The main thing is - relax and have fun, I'd even tell her: "Hey this is going to sound weird but I don't really know what I'm doing" before you go for the kiss... Take it easy on yourself!