How to talk to a really shy girl? High School?

There is this really shy girl in my class that I like but I have no idea how to start talking to her. We both know that we each exist and are friends on social networks but that's pretty much it. She is really shy and really only talks to a few select people from what I can tell. Another barrier that prevents me from talking to her is the fact that every other person who sits around me is someone I know and am friends with, meaning that it seems slightly strange for me to talk to the one person I don't know (at least I think). How should I go about starting to talk to her? What should I say? I searched this type of stuff online but the only thing that comes up is advice saying to say lines like "I like your eyes" but that is just something that I think is way too big of a thing to say for someone you barely know or talk to. We are in all the same classes but not same teachers and I am a person who is not introverted, but at the same time not an extrovert if that helps. NOTE: I am not trying to ask this girl out immediately or anything. I want to be friends and come to a point where we can talk freely with one another. Also please say if you're a girl or boy. Thanks! P. S. I, the asker of this question, am a boy.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Honestly, try to talk one the people that she talks to so you can get close to her. That's all i can say really.. For me im really shy and if a guy tries to talk to me i would feel uncomfortable and just nodded and smile all the time cause i have no interest in them. Does she have interest in you?

    • Well, we are on cordial terms I guess but other than that I can't say because she is so quiet! We barely talk and the farthest our conversations have gone is "What was blah blah doing in this part of chapter 7" (were in English together). I know one of her friends much better than I know her and could talk to her but her friend is only in one of my classes and we aren't friends to the point that I could say I like this girl. Since you say you are a shy girl, what would have to happen for a boy to start talking to you and you responding and opening up?

    • It's going to take some time trying to talk to her but trust me get closer with her friends to get to her. For example This one guy was friend with my friend and we don't even talk he was just there because he was with my friend. the three of us walk together.. I never have interest in him. I didn't have many friends to hangout at lunch he saw me being alone and decided to leave his friends just to be with me then we talk and laugh make joke.. So one day he decided to walk me home.. I did not like him by that time.. We took 2-3hr of walking just to talk to each other.. we gave each other phone numbers cause I was always alone, We flirted I lead him on... Suddenly I admit that I liked him.. he wait tomorrow and told my friend something which make me smile I can't wait what he was going to say he asked me out. I hope you understand where I'm going with this

What Guys Said 2

  • While this isn't exactly like you are asking her out (or at least not immediately), I guess it is kind of similar. A lot of it is just building the courage to go up and talk to her.

    It actually wouldn't be strange to talk to someone new. Most people, in reality, don't care if they see someone talking. Friends especially tend to be pretty cool with helping out a friend who is trying to start something with a girl he is interested in (well, assuming they are quality friends lol).
    Think about it... If someone you didn't know went up to a friend of yours and started talking to them, would you be creeped out? Probably not.

    Have you introduced yourself to her yet? If not, it may be best just to keep it simple. Just go up to her and be like, "Hi-- I've seen you around in my class and stuff, but I just realized I haven't had a chance to talk to you yet. I'm ____."
    *she responds with something, bring up a topic for conversation-- anything lighthearted*
    *hold conversation*
    *end conversation, say "I'll see you tomorrow" or something.*

    Since she is shy, there are some things to be aware of:
    1.) She probably won't become best buddies with you on the first go. She may be a bit awkward too. Shy people tend to only have easy casual conversation with people they've had repeated exposure to. So, if the initial however many conversations are kind of awkward, fear not. Keep going for them. Shy people will warm up to you over time (well, if they have a favorable impression of you.)

    2.) Don't be TOO outgoing and talkative: It may even be best to just keep a relatively short conversation (if it turns out a bit awkward at least) and to go for longer conversations as you are exposed to her more. It can be a turn off (and they won't want to talk to you anymore lol) to shy people if you are so outgoing you overwhelm them. Be charismatic, confident, happy, whatever is you, but don't overwhelm them where they have no breathing room.

    Don't stress it dude! Just keep it casual. Don't stress out. Just go with the flow of things. It will go smoothly. Introductions are the hardest part, but if you two hit it off and become good friends, it will all seem like a distant memory.
    Note: On GAG, guys are blue and girls are pink. They are also categorized. I am blue and in the dude section, hence I am a dude.

    • Haha thanks. What would be something that you might say? Not to cheesy but something that could build a conversation without being that weird?

    • I find the best source material is something about day to day life that you both share and know stuff about. Weather would be too cliche, but something like class might work. It may come off as random if you just ask her a question like, "so what is your favorite band?" Is there something in common you both share? Are you in a similar club? How did you come to know about this person-- can that be used as a conversation starter like "I saw you at _*insert place*___ as I was passing in the hall. Do you ___*insert activity*__?"

      What helps is when you find her passion. I. e. some people love music and get excited and into the conversation if you drift towards conversation involving music.

      After you start getting comfortable with her (after several days of talking, like maybe a couple weeks perhaps), ask for her number so you can stay in touch. Asking for her number right off the bat will make her think you are trying to hookup with her lol

  • Dont start with talking. Be silent and wave to her when you pass in a hallway. If she is as shy as she says, her waving back will be something that boarders on her confort zone.

    If you do this in front of people, dont expect an immidiate response, but it will show that you arnt worried by the perseption of others

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