How should I tell my parents about my intercultural/interfaith relationship?

Hi everyone! I'm a 20 year old American college student who's been dating a Japanese international student for nearly three months now. Obviously, my boyfriend and I come from very different backgrounds, and I was wondering how to tell my parents about this relationship without having them freak out over it. A little info on my family: we're Catholics of Middle Eastern descent (I was born and raised in America, while my parents immigrated here in their 20s). My parents aren't racist (some of my cousins are in interracial marriages), but I know they would have a problem with the fact that my boyfriend is not Catholic, let alone Christian (most Japanese people aren't really raised with a religion). Anyway, I don't really have an issue with the religious difference (it'll be okay as long as we both respect each other's beliefs), but my parents will for sure. This has been eating away at me for a while now, and I'm tired of having to hide this relationship from my parents. Any advice from people who are or have been in interfaith relationships would be greatly appreciated. I really like this guy, and I'm not about to let something like this ruin everything. It's not like I don't have allies either, because I do. My brother, aunt, and two of my cousins know about my relationship and are totally cool with it, but it's my parents I'm worried about :/


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you really like this guy then you need to talk to your parents and let them know you'd like them to respect your decision to date him. At the end of the day who have to make the decision on your own and decide if your going to allow your parents to tell you who you can date and who you can't. They will be upset for a while at first but they love you they'll have to accept it. Either that are you brake it off with him to satisfy them but you have to ask yourself who's happiness is more important, yours or your parents? When it's all said and done your heart will tell you which decision to make but be careful because the heart can be deceived.

    • Yeah, I'm definitely not going to let them make decisions for me. This guy makes me so happy, and he treats me so well. I wish I just knew the best way to break the news to them, although I do wonder if it's too soon. My cousin was giving me advice the other day, and he said 3 months is way too short of a time to do anything.

    • It's your call. But I wouldn't hide it for to long because the longer you wait the stronger your feelings will get and it won't be easy if your parents don't take it well. Talk to them and let them know you want them to respect your decision. Let them know he's a good guy and let them meet him and see for themselves.

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What Guys Said 4

  • I thought Christians were like supposed to be accepting and shtuff

    • Yeah, but they think dating and marrying within the faith would make things less complicated.

  • Asian beliefs are different from American or European.
    You need to worry about the guy's parents and seek their approval.
    Religion has always been a speed-breaker.
    Familiarise yourself with Shinto and Buddhism.

  • I wouldn't worry. Just tell them and get rid of that stress.

    • Just the thought of telling them and seeing their reaction is stressing me out.

    • Asians are respectable. You should be fine. You never hear about deadbeat Asians with no jobs and bastard children from multiple women. The worst thing about this situation is you being stressed from trying to hide it. Just tell them and let that burden go.

  • it's your private life and hasn't got anything to do with anyone else as long as you're both happy that's all that matters in life.

    You're an adult so it's you life no one else's.
    Are you still living at home in their house?
    if so just don't take him home.
    Just tell them you respect their opinion but please support me on this.

    • I do live at home, but only because I'm staying in-state for college. Just thinking about telling them is terrifying.

    • if you feel you have too.
      at least you know if you tell them and you can disown them then and live your life

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