Do black women understand the difference between preference, availability and requirement when it comes to IR dating?

I was at a diner this mourning and a group of sista's were in the booth behind me ripping an IR couple to pieces calling him self hating, uncle Tom, sellout, etc etc etc...

Now I found this odd because they did not know this man from adam, and they were assuming that this man did not like black women or only dated non-black women.

Also there were other IR couples in that diner but he was the one they seemed upset about, I think it was because he pulled up in a high end sports car and from the way he was dressed he seemed upper middle class corprate, and they were all checking him out until his date showed up.

Now to me there is nothing wrong with preference, I could understand BW being upset if a BM refuses to date BW, but that is not always the case. sometimes its a simple matter of there not being many sista's where he lives and works, or not many black women around who share his interests.

It is hard enough to find love, why limet yourself to one group?


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What Girls Said 2

  • This isn't meaning to sound insensitive, but it comes down to jealousy and insecurity at it's root. We are all that way. If we see someone we like and they're with someone totally opposite to us, we feel hurt and like we're not good enough. Competition between the sexes is real.

    Like, the other day, I found out Leonardo DiCaprio only dates women younger than 25 (or at least that's the trend). I am 25, will be 26 in several months, and I was mad and offended when I learned about that. Why? He's a celebrity I will never meet, and yet it offended me. Why? Because at it's root, it made me feel too old for someone that if I met in real life, I'd want to date. I'm off his radar. No one wants to feel like that.

    This is the case for a lot of BW because BM (especially when they reach something of status) go after WW. They feel like all they have to choose from are the low-end thugs. That's offensive to them. It scratches at insecurities. And they also wonder WHY. Why are they personally not the exception to the rule? I get it. It's just human nature.

    • Well having grew up as a black kid in the suburbs I can tell you that Whites and a few Asians were mostly what was around. so when I hit puberty that's what was around for me to date, I did not exclude BW but once you exhaust the other blacks you may find attractive a man is going to still look among the other races that live around you.

      I imagine its the same thing for black men who become successful and move out to the nicer areas, 90% of the people he lives around will be white. so even if he prefers black women law of averages will tilt the odds of him dating IR unless he is a reverse racist.

    • The majority of people in America are white, so it makes sense why it's more common for minorities to date white people. However, black men with white women have become the number 2 most common interracial relationship in the US. This is why people start to get threatened. Because it goes past "reasonable" into a "preference."

  • It is hard enough to find love, why limet yourself to one group?
    Yeah you should go where your heart takes you!


What Guys Said 1

  • I mean i think this one is pretty simple. Individuals can have preferences, and it's no big deal if those preferences are just sort of random and other individuals have opposite preferences, it all cancels out.

    But when the preferences become a persistent bias in the dating market, the people who are getting screwed by that bias are not very happy about it.

    Is there a trend of black guys with more money dating white women, that's not offset by wealthier non black men dating black women? Yeah, there is.

    You will find similar annoyance among Asian guys seeing Asian girls date white guys, poor white guys watching white women date black men, fat women looking at slim women, short guys looking at tall ones, poor guys looking at rich guys, old women looking at younger women, etc. etc.

    There's a bit more to it perhaps, but what i've said is enough to explain most of it.

    As an aside, for whatever reasons, women seem more caught up then men in wanting to date within group. Women in general are less open to IR than men are, across groups.

    • "As an aside, for whatever reasons, women seem more caught up then men in wanting to date within group. Women in general are less open to IR than men are, across groups. "

      Then who are the men IR dating if women tend to not be into it? you know I read a study showing a divorced white female is 3 times more likely to marry interracial than one who has never married, and that 78% of white women are open to IR dating vs 20% of black women.


      but you bring up some good points, when most people think of IR dating their first thought goes to WW/BM even though the vast majority of IR marriages are between white men / Asian women.

    • obviously for every straight hetero couple that's IR, one man and one woman have gone through with it.

      But when asked their views on it, men are more open to it than women are. Plenty of women are open to it though.

      Wm/aw couples get -married- more. cohabitating, i think i've read that wm/af are about as common as ww/bm. so overall IR have a neutral impact on whites. buutttttt... it doesn't have an equal impact on all demographic groups. poor white men are losing out and rich white men are benefitting. surprise surprise.

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