Boyfriend with bad past is too judgmental about my past :( How to cope?

My boyfriend is constantly judging me on my past and can't let it go. I was on a very long relationship, which ended because I fell for someone else, kissed him, and immediately broke up with boyfriend. The thing with this second guy didn't work and really hurt me a lot, and I entered a slut phase which lasted six months. I was abroad and slept with 13 guys (every 2 weeks I had an one night stand). After that I calmed on, dated a guy (not seriously), but it was something rather calm that last a few months and we became friends at the end. Then met my boyfriend and became serious with him.
I can understand that my past is not brilliant and that it may be scary for a guy to think that I slept with a lot of guys, but the thing is that his past is even worse: while he had a girlfriend, he had 2 parallel relationships, one after the other. He says he didn't have the guts to break up because girlfriend was too dependent. After breaking up, he had two one night stands and then we met. (in total he has been with 11 women, i was with 17 guys).
It was hard for me to deal with his past, but he really does shower me with love so I'm letting go of his infidelity. Yet, he's constantly mistrusting me just because of a sex spree that occurred one year before I was with him. I try to be understanding of his insecurities, but then I think he's being unfair to me and also sexist in some remarks.

How can I/we deal with this? I think that this is ruining us. I made an effort to "forgive" his cheating and trust him, but he's not letting go of my past and thinks it's worse than his because I had sex "without feelings"
Any tips?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He's being a hypocrite here. You're better off with someone else.


Most Helpful Girl

  • He's just angry U have a higher number.


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What Guys Said 2

  • He is afraid it might happen again. Can you assure him?

    • You can never promise anything, but I have no desire to be with anyone else and I seriourly doubt I'll ever want casual sex like that again, because although the whole thing of having a lot of available guys was fun, it was "empty" and sex was mostly very bad.

    • Well tell this to him, and show some commitment period.

  • perhaps he is mistrusting of you due to your history of breaking it off with a long term guy for some person you met once.

    • he's actually just more judgmental about the one night stands. the thing is... i wasn't very nice for my ex, but he cheated for 5 years...

    • maybe he's just a baby. What's your history have to do with anything? You both have messed up baggage. If he can't get over it you should most likely just move on

What Girls Said 0

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