Did I do the right thing by telling him to be just friends?

To make this short... Had a crush on a close guy friend. His girlfriend left him a few months ago, he got all flirty with me but I didn't do anything about it because I didn't want to be his rebound. During those months, he dated two girls (both of them ended up hating him, I don't know the reasons). During all that time he kept flirting with me, but whenever he liked a girl, he would kind of drop me and even call me sister or bestie. I simply got tired of that happening and decided to move on. Two or three weeks ago, while in class he showed me a chat with a girl he really liked, telling her he was drooling for her and what not. Apparently she accepted to go out with him to see, and I was actually very glad for him! The next day he comes up with "sometimes I think i like you a bit, i hope you don't stop talking to me for this" i said it was ok, i wasn't mad. He insisted into taking me out, after a week I went with him to the movies and he prevented me his friends, later he said "they adored you." the thing is... During the movies thing, he kept really distant, treated me like one of the guys and seemed to text another girl. I always had a bad gut feeling about him that simply won't go away, and all of my friends from college (all of them) think he's bad news too. He just gives me the creeps. I think, for the previous things he did, that he's just having me around until the other girls gives him a chance. Yesterday night I told him (a bit softer that this) "hey, can we pretend that the whole I like you thing never happened?" he said that he understood and wished me a good night, that we would talk about it tomorrow. Neither of us have said a thing. He also once said in a indirect way to have sex, without having taken me on a date, which made me think he just wants easy and casual sex. I think I did the right thing by telling him I prefer to be just friends. What do you people think? He confuses me so much.. Always calling me cute names and taking about other girls..


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like he's using you as a backup (feeding you enough to keep you around, but not actually dating you bc there's other potential out there), and I get the feeling that you know this too, deep down. This guy isn't some mystery to decipher, and hardly sounds decent because he doesn't mind letting you dangle. I'd go with that creepy guy feeling, and ditch him if I were you.

    • I think he's about to repeat the semester due to bad grades, giving me the opportunity of backing off, since I wouldn't have to see him so frequently. I already got angry at him once, blocked him on whatsapp for ten days but he kept calling and apologizing. Back then I decided to forgive him because well... I didn't want to end in bad terms with someone I have to see everyday in class, but at the current moment I kind of regret not saying "please, let's just be classmates and never talk to me again."

    • Well, you don't have to say it so much as show it. You don't need his permission or agreeance, just put the "classmate only" rule in motion. Yeah you may feel mean, but it's what's best. This guy isn't changing any time soon.

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  • Yup... it hurts but he actually admitted and showed you proof that he is texting other girls. Usually they never tell and we get led on to nothing in the end. Since you KNOW he texts other girls... be conscience that you are just another option, just like every girl he talks to. It is hard to move on when you already like someone but I suggest you walk away before you get more involved and hurt.


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