I am already 28, and yet never had a gilfriend. I try to date for few years, but all the time girls start to ignore me very quickly, last one said that I'm creepy few days ago.
That's strange for me, as while I am introverted, I have good social skills and plenty of activities - I work as a college tutor, obtain second higher degree at the same time, volunteer for students with learning disabilities, and spend lots of time on social and political activism - grassroots campaigns, help for homeless and veterans. I also speak several languages, travel a lot and sometimes publish articles on historic topics.
I have many male friends, and some of women 40+, but again - I never had any luck with younger ones, and it devastates me. Good appearance doesn't help as well, so as confidence.
Really, don't know what to do - I tried everything from online dating to friends' assistance for years, with no result at all.
Because of this, I feel very lonley. Enough to think about suicie rather often.
Most Helpful Girl
First, if this has caused you to think about suicide quite often, you need to talk to someone. Call a hotline, get counseling (this would be best), anything. Do not kill yourself!!! You are young and have a whole life to live!! Secondly, since it is affecting you this much, maybe your issue lies with confidence and/or unintentional vibes of desperation. It's natural to take a confidence hit with something like this, and even if you don't realize it, you might come across as desperate. Your friends can't see how you interact with women in private. Even getting too excited about a date can turn some girls off. Sharing too much too soon, getting too deep or mushy or using pet names too fast, being intense, or telling them you've never had a girlfriend will all turn women off. It's really hard to dig deeper into this without more info. But I will say stop looking. That is when you meet someone. Get off the dating sites, stop thinking about it, stop looking. Do things you enjoy, hang out with friends, venture out of your comfort zone, have some adventures you never thought you'd do. Change up your home, rearrange furniture, add in different brighter colors, get a new haircut, but some new nicer clothing, changing up a few things and doing something new will boost your mood and help you out of an emotional rut. Maybe look into a life coach, they can help you add things into your life. Do different things and also reconnect with yourself. You have to love yourself first before someone else will. Get outdoors, take some Vit D, a multivitamin and Vit B complex, ask your dr if an anti depressant is right for you, go do some yoga, join cooking classes, get a personal trainer and start exersizing and eating better. Not just for your body, but for your confidence and mental health. Exersize boots feel good hormones in your brain, makes you more confident, boosts your immune system, lowers stress and anxiety, etc etc etc. This list goes on. Cutting out crap food and replacing it with healthy food has a big impact on your state of mind and on your body. Make goals, short term and long term and accomplish them. Fake it until you make it- fake confidence, walk with good posture, hold your head up high, make eye contact, smile, enjoy yourself and don't take things too seriously. After a while of faking it, your confidence will actually increase for real. Mix up your life and stop looking and stressing about it. It will happen0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
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Most Helpful Guy
This is all well and good... BUT one thing that you DIDN'T mention,
is how many women you approach in real life (online dating should not be something one spends a lot of time on in my opinion; not worth the investment cauz women are WAY pickier on there).
Secondly, this introversion HAS to be BROKEN! We as males are the expendable sex, the "haves and have nots" sex, so u gotta get it together. Start being more talkative with social with people, and get out of your fucking head and stop fucking analyzing and dissecting the possible results of EVERY little thing you do. Be spontaneous, take risks.
Socialize with women casually, don't overly press yourself to impress them or pressure yourself to "ask them out that moment". Talk casually, ask her name, if she doesn't have a wedding ring on, casually ask for her phone number like it's no big deal. A common thing I say is "I may never see you again so let me get your phone number".
Trust me, this nonchalance type of attitude works, because in the woman's mind she will think that you have other feminine options for companionship lined up so that means you are "pussy approved".
Whether or not you DO have other woman options available or not is none of her business, let her THINK you do. ;-)0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE