Is it a bad idea to write this girl a letter?

we used to be friends, then we started to like each other then got into a big fight and now she hates me. i want to make mends and start over, but i can't really talk to her. any thoughts?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Contact her through social. I think that's a better option than writting a letter. But the letter could be nice too depending on how close the two of you were and how the no contact unraveled. If it was nasty and hostile, I would refrain from sending a letter. If it was clean and soft then maybe I would send it. Look at all the surrounding circumstances. Take note to every angle, weigh your odds and figure out what you think would be best. But honestly I think social is the best shot ya have.


Most Helpful Guy

  • No it is not a good idea to write her a letter, I understand it is hard, but you should at least put her aside and start seeing someone else. See how she reacts. If she really has deep seated feelings for you, then when you bump into each other again, try to gauge her feelings for you. If she acts hateful towards you then you know that you are seeing someone else who really cares for you and it doesn't matter, she isn't in your life anyways. If she acts sorry and sympathetic then you know maybe now is a good time to write her that letter (if that's your love language). The most important thing is not to put her on a pedestal. Nobody deserves that and you will just be run over and she will stop respecting you which just turns into an even bigger problem. I speak from experience.

    Why I say you should see someone else is because from my experience, this will put things into perspective for you and it will be a way of not putting her on that pedestal.

    If you want to write her a letter, write it, but don't give it to her. Just write it so you can express your thoughts to the one person that will always have your back, if you let him, yourself. If you give it to her, she will probably act hateful towards you and put you on the verge of suicide.

    Good luck. I have been there so I know it's hard. 😞😔

    • i have too. thats what sucks.. i should have learned lol. but honestly, i feel you are right the letter is a bad idea. she seems to not hate me at least. i mean I've seen her and she'll at least say hi again. i thought about the jealousy thing, i'm just worried it would backfire like if i date someone else, i don't want her to see i think she'd be pissed, even if she did hate me - just because thats how she is. but yeah i think ill just keep being nice to her and see how it goes and eventually just try and talk to her. thanks for the advice man!

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What Girls Said 2

  • No it's not a idea... :)

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    • Seeing someone else might also activate jealousy in her, which can be a good thing if in the proper context. Starting a relationship where there is none and showing her your your own man with dignity and a life shows her that she should act soon or she will lose you forever. If she isn't interested in you, do you really want to be with her?

    • i do but see blocked me and then deleted my number when we were fighting.. i do see her quite a bit though, just passing by. she is actually saying hi again, so i think you are right i'll just try and talk to her face to face tell her i miss her and what not. thanks!

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What Guys Said 1

  • Well, if you are sure she hates you now, then there is little chance you have of changing her mind. However you can try if you want too. I think you should go and talk to her in person. That will be a better idea.

    • yeah, i'm starting to think that. she's somewhat talking to me again so i feel it will be less awkward..

    • Thanks for the MHO

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